I realized something last night as I crawled between the sheets and settled down for the night.

I had spent the last couple of hours in the kitchen, planning, cooking, anticipating our Mother’s Day lunch as a family. Robyn’s dad and sister are in town, my mother-in-law is with us, and the day ahead promises to be one full of laughter and great family moments.

It’s been on my mind for the last few weeks that this would be the first Mother’s Day for my mom to ever spend without her mother. I know there is absolutely nothing and no one that can replace Mama; nor would we dare to try. Mama had a personality that was larger than life and this was one day where we would especially miss her presence.

But as I worked in the kitchen last night I was running a mental list of every one that would be at my parents’ the next day for lunch. It wasn’t until later, when I was in bed, that it hit me.

Out of the twelve people who would gather around the table, the only ones still blessed to have their mom are me, Mike, our boys, and my brother. My heart ached for everyone else…for my sister-in-law and her sister, who lost their mom way too young. For my mom, facing the first Mother’s Day as the true matriarch of our family.

The day was a blessed one, full and loud and happy. Little girl giggles, warm hugs, new baby cuddles, animated conversation, and late afternoon mugs of coffee…

And even though we were missing the heartbeats of some very loved mothers, one thing was was felt by all.

The mothering heart.

It is the heart that we share as a family.

And it will always go on.

three generations

I remember my own, back in 1988, when I was a brand new mom with a roly-poly four-month old little boy. During those early months, there are lots of special ‘firsts’ – first smile, first uninterrupted four hours of sleep, first tooth, etc…

New moms are tired, but they are also filled with joy in a way that just can’t be explained until motherhood is experienced firsthand. So when that first Mother’s Day rolls around, new moms everywhere truly do feel like a new member of a special club.

And it is.

For the next eighteen years (and, ladies, that’s a minimum, from what I’m told), this child is yours to lead, to enjoy, to guide, to laugh with, to instruct, to correct, to cajole…

It is the hardest job…but it pays the highest dividends.

It is the least thankful job….but it is the most fulfilling.

It is the one job that allows for zero vacation days…but it is the place where you feel most at home.

This year it was my sister-in-law’s turn to experience her first Mother’s Day. I know the day was bittersweet for her because it was also the first Mother’s Day without her own mom, who lost a battle with cancer this past November.

Robyn, in honor of all that has come into your life, and in memory of what once was, here’s a poem I found. I want you to know that we love you immensely and are so happy that you’re a part of our family!

Tomorrow and A Day

“Mom, I have a boo boo,
Could you kiss it, make it well?
I tried to ride my new bike
but I crashed it then I fell.”

I will kiss your pain away.
I will dry your little tears.
I will rock you in the cradle.
I will soothe away your fears.

“Mom, is that my baby sister?
Do you still love me too?
Can you fix my broken teddy?
Can we paint my bedroom blue?”

I will love you till tomorrow.
For tomorrow’s never end.
I will fix a heart that’s broken
and I promise it will mend.

“Mom is Santa Claus a real man?
Can you take my sister back?
When will Dad be home from work?
May I have another snack?”

I will tell you about Jesus
and the gifts he brought to you.
One of them is little sister
and we’ll eat with Dad at two.

“Mom, how does a firefly glow
like the color of the moon?
Can we go to the playground?
Can we buy a red balloon?”

I can’t give you all the answers
but I’ll try my best to be
loving, caring, and forgiving
as I hope you’ll be with me.

“Mom, why do bad things happen?
Is God mad at you and me?
Mom, will you always love me
even when I’m sixty three?”

If you’re feeling overwhelmed
get down on your knees and pray
and remember that you’re loved
till tomorrow and a day…

Happy first Mother’s Day, Robyn!