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	<title>Staci Wilder &#187; birthday</title>
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		<title>The birthday she&#8217;ll remember the most.</title>
		<link>http://staciwilder.com/blog/2010/05/28/the-birthday-shell-remember-the-most/</link>
		<comments>http://staciwilder.com/blog/2010/05/28/the-birthday-shell-remember-the-most/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 28 May 2010 12:30:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Staci</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pure Sunshine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[birthday]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dads and daughters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[elder care]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://staciwilder.com/?p=692</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Today is my mom&#8217;s birthday. For the first time in 66 years, it was my grandfather who planned her special day. I get choked up every time I think about it. I have a very distinct feeling it&#8217;s going to be one of those memories that will always cause my chest to tighten and the [...]]]></description>
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<p><a href="http://staciwilder.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Mothers-Day-2010-0471.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-774" title="Mother's Day 2010 047" src="http://staciwilder.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Mothers-Day-2010-0471-300x258.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="258" /></a>Today is my mom&#8217;s birthday.</p>
<p>For the first time in 66 years, it was my grandfather who planned her special day.</p>
<p>I get choked up every time I think about it. I have a very distinct feeling it&#8217;s going to be one of those memories that will always cause my chest to tighten and the backs of my eyelids to sting.</p>
<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m going to take you out to lunch,&#8221; he called her up the day before to announce. &#8220;We&#8217;re going to Furr&#8217;s. And I&#8217;m inviting Faye Nell and Sue to go with us.&#8221;</p>
<p>He&#8217;s been under hospice care for over a month now and it&#8217;s been a time of adjustment for all of us as we&#8217;ve all faced in our own way and in our own time that COPD would soon rob us of all the many, many moments we&#8217;d come to take for granted over the years.</p>
<p>Ever the strong, capable, unflappable type, the loss of Mama perhaps dealt the cruelest blow to Dad. We&#8217;ve seen the love he shared with her evidenced in such unexpected ways since her death. It&#8217;s hard to believe it&#8217;s been just over six months now; the fact that Dad&#8217;s own health has deteriorated so vastly and so quickly is just as shocking.</p>
<p>And yet there are these moments lately when he says or does  or acts in such a way that makes that sliver of time almost stand still. It&#8217;s as though there is a poignancy in the air and it is so delicate &#8211; so precious &#8211; that to breathe too hard or even blink would be to miss it.</p>
<p>And oh, we don&#8217;t want to miss a moment right now.</p>
<p>The party of four &#8211; the birthday girl, her dad, and their two guests &#8211; kept the lunch date. Despite the oxygen that is continuously strapped to him, his lack of energy, and an ever-increasing tiredness that is taking over his body, he went the extra mile on this birthday.</p>
<p>He thought he was being quite the sneak, even though Mom knew what he was up to all along. So when the employees of Furr&#8217;s arrived at their table and began to sing &#8220;Happy Birthday&#8221; she acted surprised. I feel quite certain that singing birthday songs tableside is <em>not </em>standard operating procedure for the folks at Furr&#8217;s&#8230;but again &#8211; it&#8217;s almost like there is something irresistible about these moments surrounding Dad right now.</p>
<p>They all mean something.</p>
<p>They mean everything.</p>
<p>My mom has had some great birthdays in the past and I&#8217;m sure there are some amazing ones in her future.</p>
<p>But there is no doubt in my mind that it is this year&#8217;s birthday she&#8217;ll remember the most.</p>
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