Archive for the 'Uniquely Me' Category
July 15, 2008 @ 12:01 pm | Filed under: The Solid Rock, Uniquely Me
Poets and writers - for as far back as literature and songs go - have inspired mankind with the promise of renewal. A time of rejuvenation for the soul.
For those of us who know God, we know that true renewal only comes from Him.
But - although in a somewhat lesser sense - if we’re looking for it, we can find hints of this respite all around us. I believe it is His promise to us.
Night eventually turns into day. Winter slowly melds into Spring. For every tide that crashes onto sandy shores, one more is already rising up behind it.
Maybe the Disney lyrics to Lion King say it best,
It’s the circle of life and it moves us all through despair and hope, through faith and love until we find our place on the path unwinding…in the circle - the circle of life.
I am trying to be very conscience these days of the difference between being ‘busy’ and being ‘productive.’ I feel a sense of urgency to be productive, to use my time and energy wisely. I have my hand in a lot of things right now, and daily examine myself to make sure I am supposed to be in all of these places.
The challenge is to always bring the best of what I have to offer to each of the things I am actively involved in. Some day I can’t say that I feel successful. Not at all.
Still…at the end of days like today, when I’ve tackled a lot and not really felt all that successful at any of it, I feel Him.
This is a season in my life. For whatever reason, I’ve felt a special urgency in my life this past year. I don’t really know what it means now, or what it will come to mean in the future, but I only know to trust Him and to swim in these waters that are most definitely over my head.
Day will majestically come.
Spring will gloriously arrive.
Waves of inspiration will pound the shores of my existence.
The tides of time.
On those days when I am feeling overwhelmed, underqualified, and inadequate, I know that I need only to lean back in Him and ride the tide to shore. Scary? Sure.
But the ride is more than worth the price of admission.
July 10, 2008 @ 11:57 am | Filed under: The Writing Life, Uniquely Me
- If you win, do not brag; if you lose, do not show anger.
- When meeting new people, shake hands and repeat their names.
- If someone bumps into you, say excuse me, even if it was not your fault.
- If you are asked a question in conversation, ask a question in return.
- Do not stare at a student who is being reprimanded.
- Do not ask for a reward.
- In a hotel room, leave a tip for the hotel workers who clean your room.
- Make eye contact.
- Stand up for what you believe in.
- Live so that you will have no regrets.
I’m reading Ron Clark’s The Essential 55 again. He is a teacher who is known for the amazing inroads he has made with underprivileged, undernourished, undereducated students in rural North Carolina.
I wake up some days and am still amazed that I’ve made the decision to teach. Me - the same girl who grew up swearing (that would be figuratively, not literally) that she would never teach. While I’ve always had a healthy respect for my dad’s career and have had some amazing teachers in my own life, I wanted something different.
Or thought I wanted something different.
This desire to teach is something that is more like a calling to me right now, I guess. It’s a part of that urgency that is burning in me. I think that maybe I am just now at the point in my life where I am ready to fill up young minds with exciting possibilities that can be theirs. That should be theirs.
There is just something so special about young minds - when the mind and the heart is so open to influence - that tugs at my heart. Makes me want to help channel all that energy into positive avenues. Creative avenues. Avenues that will leave them changed, that will make them thinkers for life.
I believe that writing can do that for a person. It is a way to work through issues, to create a world of your own, to reach out and touch someone, to leave your fingerprints all over this life by the words you pen…
I want to teach that.
Ron Clark, teaching, the essential 55
June 26, 2008 @ 2:45 pm | Filed under: Uniquely Me
How many zeros in a billion ?
The next time you hear a politician use the word ‘billion’ in a casual manner, think about whether you want the politicians spending YOUR tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of it’s releases.
A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth.
E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.
While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let’s take a look at New Orleans . It’s amazing what you can learn with some simple division.
Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D) is presently asking Congress for 250 BILLION DOLLARS to rebuild New Orleans . Interesting number… what does it mean?
A. Well… if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman, and child) you each get $516,528.
B. Or… if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans , your home gets $1,329,787.
C. Or… if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.
In the meantime, this is our reality:
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing Lic ense T ax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Fe dermal, State and Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt…
We had the largest middle class in the world…
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
June 22, 2008 @ 12:55 pm | Filed under: 5 Minutes for Mom, Motherhood, Uniquely Me
I posted over at Faith Lifts today…
devotions, Motherhood, parenting
June 16, 2008 @ 4:24 pm | Filed under: School Stuff, Uniquely Me
“Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness, where the explorers often get lost.” —W.S. Anglin
(this post was written in 2006, right after my return to college)
THANK. YOU.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
For me math is, at best, a grand test of patience, endurance, and that gnarly feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you know (you just…know) that things are about to get very, very bad.
Math and I go way back. All the way back to first grade, in fact.
The relationship started off well, with grainy, purple-ish mimeographed pages (remember these predecessors of color copies and laser-printed sheets?) of neatly printed addition and subtraction problems.
“Staci, meet the plus sign. Plus would like to add two apples to your pile of four oranges. How many pieces of fruit do you have now?”
As long as I could equate math with fruit or cookies, or even pencils or pennies, it was all good. Dare I say, even a tad bit…fun?
It all began to go awry mid-semester of my freshman year in high school. One word says it all, seven little letters. A-L-G-E-B-R-A.
I went into the class a little cocky (because I’d never had to work very hard to make good grades before) and more than a little naive (who knew that polynomials and variables could BE so obstinate?)
By the time I’d managed to crawl through Algebra I by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin, I walked into Mrs. Payne’s sophomore geometry class with my tail tucked between my legs.
I was cautiously hopeful that isosceles triangles and terms like area, volume, and perimeter would be kinder and gentler in nature - but I was not holding my breath.
Good thing.
It became a joke in the class that I would treat myself to a banana split at Braums if somehow - by the grace of God or osmosis or whatever worked - I managed to pass the increasingly difficult tests.
Mrs. Payne had the very annoying habit of reading the test grades aloud before handing them back. As if the humilation of a failing grade wasn’t enough on its own, now we had the added bonus of wanting to crawl beneath our desks whenever our name was called.
“Rogers,” she would peer over her half-rimmed, silver reading glasses and make direct eye contact.
With bated breath, I would wait like a defendant on trial to hear my fate.
“Looks like you’re going to Braums today,” she’d nod and give me the barest of grins. “You got a C.”
I still remember the cheers of my classmates and that afternoon, about four o’clock, found a large group of my friends and fellow geometry cellmates clustered around a white Formica table at our local neighborhood Braums.
Some things in life just need to be celebrated, you know?
When (NOT if) I manage to bag the three credit hours of college Algebra that I need in my degree plan, I will celebrate large!
Anybody want in?
UPDATE: June 2008
I sat across from my advisor a few weeks ago and waited impatiently as he perused my transcript, clicked his mouse a few times, rechecked a file, and then - finally - looked at me.
“Did you know-” he paused and - truly - spoke to me as though his gentle tone would somehow soften his news. “-that you have only science and math courses left to take?”
Of course, he meant before I could transfer full-time to the four-year campus.
“Yes.” I nodded and straightened in my seat. “I did know that.”
He glanced down at his screen again and I could see he tried to hide a grin. “I mean…that’s all.”
“Yes, I’m aware of that.” My words were kind and ladylike but in my mind I was coming across the desk, making a beeline for his scrawny neck and saying really mean things like Do you know that I’m twice your age and I could very well make your very existence nothing but miserable from this point on?
The truth of the matter is, though, that it is rather funny.
In an effort to make my return to college a tad less frightening and a lot more exciting, I spent the first several semesters taking courses that I enjoyed and…aced. And - at long last - I can no longer put off the inevitable.
I must face math and face my fear.
I am in my second week of my first summer math course and am ecstatic to report that there have no casualties, no bad words thought, no equation I could not conquer.
(Continue in prayer, please. More math reports will follow in the coming weeks.)
June 2, 2008 @ 1:24 pm | Filed under: Soul Food, The Solid Rock, Uniquely Me
When I was raising my boys, one nightly tradition was spending the last few minutes of each day reading to them. One of their favorite stories, and still one of mine, was If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.
If you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll probably ask for a glass of milk. If you give him a glass of milk, he’ll probably ask for a straw. If you give him a straw, he’ll most likely need a napkin.
On and on the story goes, taking the mouse through various household chores and activities until finally - spent and exhausted - the mouse takes a nap. When he wakes from the nap - sure enough - he’s hungry and…you got it…he asks for a cookie.
Some days are like that, one activity begatting the next, and so on and so on and so on.
I had a day like that a couple of weeks ago.
I had been looking forward all that week to sleeping in on Saturday, whatever that means for me. Lately I’ve been running on about five or six hours of sleep each night and - after a long and tiring week - I thought the idea of sleeping until 7:30 or eight sounded really good.
Instead I woke at around 5:30 and lay there, wide awake, until I finally eased from the bed and made my way through the sleeping house to the living room. Something deep within me was stirring, something that made me acutely aware of just what a blessed day it was.
The week had been long, it had been tiring, but I’d not only made it through, I’d made it through with the deep-seated knowledge that God was directing my footsteps and my actions; easing me slowly but surely through the long list of to-do’s and must-do’s until all the projects, all my work, and all the kid drama - everything was not only done, but done well.
I sat with my coffee and spent quiet time with Him - so thankful, so grateful, for His mercy and strength. The quietness and solitude of the room around me seemed to reflect the quietness of my spirit and it all felt so good.
At the tail end of a week where I’d spent energy like money and had run the gamut of emotions in dealing with life’s craziness I simply sat in my living room and reveled in the secure certainty that I am a God’s girl.
At the end of my quiet time I attempted to go online, only to find that our internet was down. And that’s when the if you give the girl her God type of a day really began. Feeling energized and close to Him, I prepared a full, nutritious breakfast.
Well-fed and feeling healthy, I went for my run. I felt so good after two and a half miles that I ran for four.
As I walked the last block home, I found myself studying all the neighbors’ yards, realizing that my schedule had not allowed me the flexibility to spend any amount of time on my own flower beds.
I saw Mike out with the lawn mower as I walked the last few steps to our house, and that clinched it for me. Already sweaty and slighty grubby from my run (even the tip of my pony tail was dripping) I decided to stay in my running skirt and get busy in the dirt.
And the day was officially started…
One by one, each activity seemed to only prompt the next. I spent hour after hour taking care of the things around the house that I’d let fall by the wayside in the full-on sprint that always comes at the end of another school year. When the day turned to night, I collapsed in the same spot as I’d spent my quiet time that morning. Somewhat tired again, but fulfilled.
Again I was quiet and reflective. Again I was filled with thankfulness for His care of me. Again I was very much aware of His mercy at work in my life.
On my own I am so weak. On my own I falter and question and - sometimes - whine.
On my own, I am just a woman. ONE woman.
I can only give so much as a friend. I can only instruct so much as a mother. I can only succeed so much as a student and as a writer.
I can only do so much.
But with Him…with Him all things are possible.
I may very well be a woman on the cusp of her midlife years.
But I very much feel like a little girl running into the arms of her God.
If you give a girl her God, she can do most anything.
faith, flower beds, God's girl
May 27, 2008 @ 5:35 pm | Filed under: Scrapbooking, Uniquely Me
These are the BEFORE pictures of the scrapbooking closet…
May 22, 2008 @ 5:27 pm | Filed under: Uniquely Me
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” II Timothy 1:7
___________________________
When I think about some of the women who have made the largest impact on my life, I find that these women quite often had a gentleness about them. A gentleness that I desperately would want to emulate. I can’t say the number of times that I would try to do just that, only to have my own personality rise to the surface again and again…and again.
I finally realized that I needed to embrace the ME that God created me to be. It wasn’t until I began to fall deeper and deeper into Him that I finally learned that this gentleness that I so wanted for myself was not merely a “personality” trait. It was an inherent trait that was a gift from God.
It’s not something that can be emulated. It’s not something that can even really be learned. It is simply something that is gifted gradually, as you learn more, trust more, give in more…to Him.
I read these words this morning, “A quiet and gentle spirit is a heart free from fear.”
I had to read it several times and think about it. And then read it a few more times. That is a powerful statement and, the more I read it, the more God opened up my understanding of it.
I’ve always wanted that gentleness for myself.
But I’ve always struggled with the fear factor.
Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of letting someone down, of dropping an important ball. Fear of the unexpected. Fear of the future. Fear of the past. Fear of my accomplishments.
In hindsight, it’s fear that has made me occasionally do some of those kind of crazy things. Fear speaks without thinking. Fear freaks out. It wanders on its own for solutions and explanations. It races to “fix things,” or at least searches for a way to figure them out.
Fear fusses and fidgets, messes and obsesses.
This morning my heart is repentant and I kneel before Him with an all-new understanding of both, fear and gentleness. I’ll try to remember from now on to fear in only these ways:
- Protected: “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them:” (Psalm 34:7)
- Given wisdom: “Who are those who fear the Lord? He will show them the path they should choose” (Psalm 25:12, NLT)
- A friend of God: “Friendship with the Lord is reserved for those who fear Him. With them He shares the secrets of His convenant.” (Psalm 25:14, NLT)
- Secure in God’s love: “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him.” (Psalm 103:11)
- Provided for by God: “Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing.” (Psalm 34:9)
- Satisfied: “The fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction; he will not be visited with evil” (Proverbs 19:23, NKJV)
I want a lot, spiritually speaking. If I were to make a wish-list for all that I desire in this realm, I’d be hard-pressed to know what I want most. But I do know that somewhere very close to the top of that list would be this gentleness that is bred only by being rooted and secure in Him. In times of stress or lonely drought, I want to exercise faith, not fear. I want to radiate peace and joy.
I want a fearless beauty.
devotions, grace, inner beauty
May 20, 2008 @ 10:09 am | Filed under: The Solid Rock, Uniquely Me
What in the world…?
I pulled my cell phone from the charger a few days ago and stared down at it. I had just one bar. How could that be?
For the third time in about as many days I noticed that my phone was steadily losing its charge. Adding stop in to get your phone checked out was pretty much the last thing I wanted to put on my ever growing to-do list.
I was puzzled. The phone was not that old, nor had the battery been giving me any previous problems.
I’m a creature of habit, nothing if not predictable. Every night for the past year that we’ve been living in this house, I have plugged my phone into the same spot to charge overnight. Without fail. If I’m home, then my phone is on the charger.
So my frustration stemmed mainly from knowing that I’d soon have the hassle of making the stop at the phone place, and not so much from anything else. I plunked my phone into my purse and moved to finish my chores before heading out to run errands.
It was sometime in the next half hour or so - as I pushed the vacuum cleaner across the carpet in my bedroom - when it hit me. I snapped the off button on the vacuum and practically ran over to where my charger lay.
I had to get down on my hands and knees to follow its cord around the small table and behind another piece of furniture until…
I gave a gentle tug and the entire cord popped out in front of me.
IT WASN’T PLUGGED INTO THE POWER SOURCE.
As I sat there on the floor, holding the charger and feeling quite stupid at this point, God began to speak to me. In those few minutes of alone time in the big middle of mundane chores and household duties, He layed out an object lesson for me that I don’t think I’ll forget anytime soon.
This is how you become when you go too long without being plugged into my power.
The guilt was immediate because I knew exactly what He meant. The past few weeks had been harried ones. The pace had been frantic, the burdens quite heavy, and the emotions have run rampant.
And yet - in the middle of all this - I guess I felt I had enough “stored up” energy to power me through it all. I prayed, but the words were hurried and my heart wasn’t always all the way in it. I made enough of an effort to spend time with Him that I guess I convinced myself that I was indeed fine. Just like my phone, I was plugged in as far as I could see.
But…
I WASN’T PLUGGED INTO THE POWER SOURCE.
Not the way I should have been. Certainly not the way I am used to. And definitely not the way I needed to be if I want to continue to be the wife, mom, friend, leader, etc… that I know I am called to be.
It’s been several days now and I cannot pass by where my phone lies being charged without thinking back on this lesson. God stopped me on that day and in that way that only He has with me, He slowed me, soothed me, and redirected my thoughts. My intents. My heartbeat.
He, very simply put, energized me.
life lessons, power source, walk with God
May 19, 2008 @ 7:15 pm | Filed under: 3 Day Walk, Friends, It's a Girl Thing, Uniquely Me
I have taken on an incredible challenge. On November 7th - 9th I’ll be walking 60 miles over the course of three days, camping out at night with thousands of other women and men taking this journey with me.
It’s for an event called the Breast Cancer 3-Day, which benefits Susan G. Komen for the Cure and the National Philanthropic Trust Breast Cancer Fund. Every advancement in breast cancer research, treatment, education and prevention in the last 25 years has been touched by a Komen for the Cure grant. They are working hard to build a future without breast cancer, and I plan on raising $2200 to help bring us closer to that goal.
Please consider making a donation to this great cause. If you can’t give a certain amount all at once, you can spread it out over four months, using the payment plan option, if you donate online at http://www.the3day.org/. Please also ask your employer if they will double your donation with a matching gift.
This year I am walking in honor of the women in my own life who have battled breast cancer and have lived to celebrate beyond it. For those of you who know me well, you know that raising breast cancer awareness is one of the passions that I’ve taken into my heart.
Finding Faith is my novel set to release the end of this year and it chronicles one woman’s journey through this difficult and - too often - deadly disease. But there IS hope. There IS help. There IS healing. I am honored and excited to be taking part in this amazing walk for life.
Without a cure, one in eight women in the U.S. will continue to be diagnosed with breast cancer. That’s why I’m walking in the 3-Day. Because everyone deserves a lifetime.
To make a donation, go to http://www.the3day.org/. Click on Donate Now and search for my personal fundraising page. If you don’t want to donate online, please fill out the enclosed donation form and mail it to the address on the form. Or you can call 800.996.3DAY to donate over the phone. I would like to reach my fundraising goal by October 1st so please don’t delay!
