Archive for the 'Soul Food' Category

August 31, 2009 @ 6:36 am | Filed under: Family, Soul Food, Uniquely Me

I’ve been the quietest I’ve been in years…maybe ever…these past several months.

As an aside - I’m sure if you were to ask Mike, he’d beg to differ with that last statement! I’ve been talking, for sure, as we’ve been planning, implementing those plans, and making various adjustments these past few months. But, other than journaling it and talking it out within our four walls, I’ve not been too vocal on much except surface…stuff.

When I shut out the noise around me, good or bad, I can truly focus. Regain some clarity, perspective. There is a tranquility of spirit these days and - while it is something new for me - it is definitely something I hope to keep.

There is one area though that I am resolving to bolster even more. It is one of my weaknesses: time management. I want so much to do well in so many different areas that I find I am constantly tending to the urgent and - in the process - often ignoring the important.

Putting out fires is necessary, goodness knows, but what I so often perceive as being a burning forest usually turns out to be nothing more than smoldering embers. And sometimes when I get back to the important, the passion, the energy and the drive has already been spent.

My heartbeat lately has been to find God and then join Him in what He is doing. In this protected, tender space that is my life right now, I feel a real need to maximize the time. To not only be productive in my work, school, church and family life, but to really be cognizant as I go through my day of the people around me. What they are facing. Decisions they are making. Hurts they have.

My life has slowed, for sure. I don’t know that I will ever truly understand the scope of what this time is about for me. I feel almost certain that, at the very least, I won’t glimpse the meaning until I’ve faithfully trodded this path until I come to the next leg of the journey.

The last thing I want to do is to fill this time with busyness instead of progress. There are some things - some people - that I can do nothing about, nothing for. Some things just need to be left alone. I’m trying to learn that, accept it.

Only then can I cultivate the important. I want to grow a garden during this time, and nourish it with time spent with Him, time spent in reflection, time shared with loved ones, and time in knowledge and understanding.

Today begins the new fall term and, with it, I am starting a new book. I’m excited about both…and also nervous about both. Beginnings - as fresh and fun and exciting as they can be - aren’t really my forte. But they are crucial and I know that these first days will set the stage for the next weeks and months. I want those months to be productive ones.  And I know what it will take for that productivity to even have a fighting chance.

This morning I lay it all down, all the components that make up ME.

I ask for eyes to see the realities.

Ears to hear His voice.

A heart to love without borders.

And arms strong enough to cradle it all.

Tags: Family, living simply, school stories

May 26, 2009 @ 10:03 am | Filed under: Soul Food

grace: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification b: a virtue coming from God c: a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace
_____________________________
I can’t get away from it this morning.

I woke up with these words, a space of grace, trailing again and again across my mind. I wanted to write about something entirely different here this morning, but the right words for that post are just too elusive. And so I’m giving in to the words that are here, and I’m exploring them.

I’ve always known these spots existed, these spaces of grace, but I’ve never had reason to put a name or a description to what they were, or what they meant to my life. They are these “pockets of time” in our spiritual journey when we experience moments so filled with His power that we are literally enabled to do what we could not do before.

Things seem to both, accelerate and slow at the same time. Oftentimes our learning, our talents, and our abilities will seem to be fastracked during these periods even while our observations, our reflections, and our times of meditation are slowed and filled with enormous amounts of clarity.

For some, these may be the times when they capture the vision of what they have to offer to the world around them, and they go for it. For others, these moments may be where they find strength to see their way out of temptations, and do. For still others, it is a time of discovering their voice, their passion, their ability to lead, and they step out in faith.

A space of grace is when we find ourselves in that holy place where heaven touches earth and we happen to be standing in the middle of it.

I saw a billboard a few weeks back that simply read, touching heaven, changing lives. That’s what this life is truly about, whether that life that becomes changed is someone else’s or our own.

For me, many of these times have meant moments of ‘lightbulb revelations’ - times when His word suddenly became real to me in ways that I’d either not understood before, or simply not seen before. It is during these times that I soak up, absorb, crave…more, more, more of Him. It is always a time of thankfulness, a time of rejuvenation, a time of a lot less struggle and a lot more energy.

Sometimes these pockets of time last days, sometimes months. To be honest, when the day would eventually come that I would realize that once more I seemed to be deep in the mire and muck that is daily life I would feel a bit of disappointment in myself.

I think - even though until now I’ve not taken the time to analyze these times - I thought that I had somehow brought myself to that spot with God. That my own spirituality had somehow merited me this favored time with Him. So if I’d brought myself to this special place, then it would only stand to reason that it would be ME who took myself away from it, who brought about the end of something so precious, so sacred.

Thinking about that this morning, I feel silly. But I also feel a deep joy bubbling in my soul that just cannot be unseated.

These times - these spaces of grace - are rest stops for our soul. I picture it as though I’m on a trip, a long journey, and I pull over to the side of the road. Not necessarily for a rest, or a drink, or a bite to eat. Maybe I pull over to take out the map, look back over the miles already traveled and plan and dream and anticipate the exciting stops that lie on my horizon.

It’s a time of planning and reflection, a time to dump out the trash and fuel up with all things good. It’s a time to look back on the road behind and see - maybe for the first time in a long while - just how far along on this journey that you are, and it’s a time to look ahead, knowing now from experience that the sights, the scenery, the people might move and change or even dissipate.

But not His great love. Not His direction. Never His grace.

I’m thankful this morning for spaces of grace.

Tags: grace, virtues

March 5, 2009 @ 10:08 am | Filed under: Soul Food, The Solid Rock

Blessings have always seemed to be the symbol of the favor of God, of being in His will. And when they’ve rained down upon my head, I have to say that I have felt incredibly loved by God.

Not that I deserved the blessings - never, ever will that be the case - but that, by receiving them, I’d reached some sort of apex.

That’s how I used to think.

Now I know differently.

Blessings don’t bring fulfillment. If you don’t believe this, think back over the blessings in your life.

The new house? It’s beautiful, wonderful, exactly what you’d dreamed of.

But at the end of the day, when you lay down to sleep, it’s still a house. With responsibilities, chores, and pressures built right in. And eventually your family will outgrow even the new house, and you’ll want a larger, nicer one.

A promotion? It’s what we all want, what we work so diligently toward. But again, it’s a job, and as with any job, there are multi-faceted issues that make it seem less than a blessing on many days. And one day, even that dream job will appear stale, and you’ll find it no longer satisfies.

We always want more.

The same is true with our spiritual blessings. Just beyond blessings, lies another place. A place we don’t like to talk of much, let alone visit.

Brokenness.

When we reach that point, well…that’s where we find the true will of God. That’s when we know that yes, indeed we are in His perfect will.

It may not always be the most comfortable spot to be.

It may not be the place of importance or stature we thought we wanted.

It may take us outside personal comfort zones and force us into situations that are foreign and unfamiliar.

But it’s in those places we find new levels of relationship with God.

Blessings are a sign He loves us. In spite of all our faults, our failures, our inadequacies, He loves us still.

But brokenness is a sign we’ve tapped into a new realm of relationship.

Think of Abraham. Isaac, the son of his old age, was nothing short of a blessing straight from God. But as Isaac lay on the altar of sacrifice, Abraham was brought to a place of brokenness.

The blessing was no longer enough. It was only after that time of brokenness that Abraham was brought into a new realm of relationship with God.

And what about Job? No one would ever dispute that blessings were abundant in Job’s life. If blessings were a sign of favor, well, Job certainly had favor.

But it was only after losing these blessings, and coming to a place of brokenness, that Job was at last lifted to a new realm. A place he would never have reached had it not been for brokenness.

Brokenness leaves us transparent, needy, and vulnerable.

It also leaves us in a place to be reshaped, remolded, and fashioned into vessels He can truly use.

When the blessing isn’t enough…

February 11, 2009 @ 6:11 pm | Filed under: Soul Food, Uniquely Me

I read the following quote in an article a few days ago:

“Happiness makes me useless. Anger and sadness are inspiring.”

This was said by a well-known music artist who - although not one of my favorites - is certainly looked up to, and respected, by many.

I moved on from the article, but then came back to it several times, just to read that one quote again. Something about it bothered me, but also begged me to look at it closer, more in depth.

To read it once is to be bothered by the sheer absurdity of it. Anyone who read this probably had much the same reaction.

But to read it again (and again and again) is to see (whether we want to admit it or not) there is some validity to her words.

Happiness, for the most part, is shallow and fleeting. What makes us smile today often bugs us tomorrow. What fulfills today no longer will satisfy tomorrow. Things, people, situations - they come and go, alter and change. There is no stability in these things and, because of this, the happiness that we claim to derive from them is also subject to instability.

What I have personally found while in this particular (shallow) state of happiness is that I often become complacent and fail to produce what I am capable of producing. This state often breeds the “it’s all about me” mentality and fosters a false sense of self-centeredness.

In short, it makes us lazy and ineffective. It spoils us.

Yet when I acknowledge these times without clinging to them, when I appreciate them without camping out on their doorstep - at these times they serve as a catalyst instead of a hindrance. When I look through the lens of truth I am able to see these times for what they truly are.

I draw from them but I don’t bank on them. I enjoy them but I don’t depend on them.

While I still find this artist’s words a bit jarring, I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming that she sees it this way too.

Happiness that breeds ineffectiveness is not true happiness. So, yes, in a sense it can make us useless.

Anger and sadness aren’t inspiring. But, yes, they are often the motivation for change for the good.

Tags: contentment, happiness

January 30, 2009 @ 6:37 pm | Filed under: Soul Food, The Solid Rock

I remember an old stoplight that I used to have in my Sunday school room. I used it for almost an entire quarter one year as I endeavored to teach a room full of eight and nine year olds about characteristics of sound decision making.

I’m thinking about that old light again today, except I’m imagining a God-sized version; one that I look to for direction in an effort to maintain order, minimize chaos, and streamline all I have going on in my life.

Who doesn’t love a green light? They generally mean yes, and usually turn us loose to run head-on, with abandon and enthusiasm, into a new venture, a new job, a new direction, or maybe even an escape, a vacation, or just a plain ‘ol fun time. These are times that fill us with joy, with good memories, with well-being. We feel loved, cared for, and it’s easy in these times to know Who we belong to and just exactly what our purpose is.

The red lights, the resounding, unmistakable sound of no…? Often times these bring us up short, cause us to freeze in mid-step, right as we’re about to step off the curb and into the crazy highway of Life. I’ve learned to graciously embrace a “no” when they come along because now I know that, while I’m unable to see what lies in wait for me down the way, He sees it all, knows it all, has it all in His hand. In His time. These are moments to catch our breath, slow down, gather strength and knowledge. While not always fun, they are essential to our well-being.

The yellow days, or the times of maybe, are perhaps some of the most challenging ones for me. On a good day, I’ve been known to reluctantly cling to a faith-filled “maybe.” These days are the times when we’re given no clear direction, only the message to take our time, exercise caution, be aware, and look both ways before crossing. One of the hardest to endure words in my psychological, mental, emotional, and spiritual consciousness is WAIT. Yet it is most likely when the most work is done within me.

The only thing that makes wait a concept I can live through is juxtaposing it with God’s promises; especially, Isaiah 40:31, “But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” I’ve strode to the rhythm of that verse like a mantra in my head during many a brisk morning walk, determined to get it into my spirit so that I could hold on, trust God, and go on to the next thing at hand.

I believe it is when we learn to accept the yellow lights, cross briskly and safely during the green ones, and hug the curb with forced patience while we endure the red ones, that God begins to grant us some of the greatest desires of our hearts. Long-time hopes. Eternal flamed-filled dreams.

When we have waited, persevered, held on to God’s promises, passed more tests than we fell short of, refused to give up hope, and denied giving the enemy of our souls any ground…the path in front of us begins to grow clear. Our way becomes illuminated and - it’s in those moments of clarity - we are able to see that the road falling away behind has carried us to such a special proximity to Him. And the road that is rising up before us is one that is guaranteed to challenge, to thrill, to motivate, to humble, to grow, to make us as strong and able-bodied as we need to be to finish this majestic, wonderful journey.

It’s because of these times that we stand here today, clothed in bright minds and yielded hearts, on the verge of realizing some of the greatest desires of our hearts. We’ve recently crossed the threshold into a new year - fresh, clean and unused - and prepared especially for us. A new year to live, trust, hope, pray, laugh, prosper, grow, praise, and believe God.

There is something inside of me that is vibrantly crying out that 2009 will have been WELL WORTH THE WAIT. It’s our time to shine. It’s our time to share during daylight what God has shown us in the dark, time to shout from the rooftops what He has whispered in our ears in secret.

I’m waiting on Him. During a season of yellow lights, I am mounting up with wings as eagles, I’m running without weariness, walking without the fear of fainting.

August 26, 2008 @ 5:49 pm | Filed under: It's a Girl Thing, Pure Sunshine, Soul Food

 

Tags: horse camp, horses

June 19, 2008 @ 2:15 pm | Filed under: Soul Food

WHEN I SAY I AM A CHRISTIAN

 

“A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ 
that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.”

When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not shouting “I’m clean living.’”
I’m whispering “I was lost, Now I’m found and  forgiven.” 

 When I say… “I am a Christian” I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my  guide. 
  
When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not trying to be strong. 
I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength  to carry on. 
 
When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not  bragging of success. 
I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my  mess. 
 
When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not  claiming to be perfect, 
My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth  it. 
 
When I say… “I am a Christian” I still feel the  sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name. 
  
When I say… “I am a Christian” I’m not holier than thou.
I’m just a simple sinner Who received God’s good grace, somehow! 

                                                         - Maya Angelou
 

Tags: Maya Angelou, poetry, When I Say I am a Christian

June 8, 2008 @ 6:48 am | Filed under: Motherhood, Soul Food, The Writing Life

Every once in a while a door of opportunity will swing open wide, and we know for certain that it is God who is bidding us to walk through it.

This is what happened to me when Faith Lifts invited me to be one of their devotional contributors a couple of weeks ago. The people that I’ve met so far - Shera and the other writers - are nothing short of warm and welcoming. Already I feel at home, and very excited about this very special place!

As a writer, this is an opportunity to share bits and pieces of what God lays on my heart. As a mom, this is a place to find needed encouragement and strength. But - maybe most importantly - as a woman, Faith Lifts is a place where godly women are endeavoring to hear His voice and allowing Him to direct their lives and the lives of their families.

My first devotion with Faith Lifts is up today. If you find time to check it out, please linger a bit longer and read the words of wisdom and encouragement that other Faith Lifts writers have on their hearts.

I promise you’ll leave uplifted!

 

Tags: devotions, Faith Lifts, Moms

June 2, 2008 @ 1:24 pm | Filed under: Soul Food, The Solid Rock, Uniquely Me

When I was raising my boys, one nightly tradition was spending the last few minutes of each day reading to them. One of their favorite stories, and still one of mine, was If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.

If you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll probably ask for a glass of milk. If you give him a glass of milk, he’ll probably ask for a straw. If you give him a straw, he’ll most likely need a napkin.

On and on the story goes, taking the mouse through various household chores and activities until finally - spent and exhausted - the mouse takes a nap. When he wakes from the nap - sure enough - he’s hungry and…you got it…he asks for a cookie.

Some days are like that, one activity begatting the next, and so on and so on and so on.

I had a day like that a couple of weeks ago.

I had been looking forward all that week to sleeping in on Saturday, whatever that means for me. Lately I’ve been running on about five or six hours of sleep each night and - after a long and tiring week - I thought the idea of sleeping until 7:30 or eight sounded really good.

Instead I woke at around 5:30 and lay there, wide awake, until I finally eased from the bed and made my way through the sleeping house to the living room. Something deep within me was stirring, something that made me acutely aware of just what a blessed day it was.

The week had been long, it had been tiring, but I’d not only made it through, I’d made it through with the deep-seated knowledge that God was directing my footsteps and my actions; easing me slowly but surely through the long list of to-do’s and must-do’s until all the projects, all my work, and all the kid drama - everything was not only done, but done well.

I sat with my coffee and spent quiet time with Him - so thankful, so grateful, for His mercy and strength. The quietness and solitude of the room around me seemed to reflect the quietness of my spirit and it all felt so good.

At the tail end of a week where I’d spent energy like money and had run the gamut of emotions in dealing with life’s craziness I simply sat in my living room and reveled in the secure certainty that I am a God’s girl.

At the end of my quiet time I attempted to go online, only to find that our internet was down. And that’s when the if you give the girl her God type of a day really began. Feeling energized and close to Him, I prepared a full, nutritious breakfast.

Well-fed and feeling healthy, I went for my run. I felt so good after two and a half miles that I ran for four.

As I walked the last block home, I found myself studying all the neighbors’ yards, realizing that my schedule had not allowed me the flexibility to spend any amount of time on my own flower beds.

I saw Mike out with the lawn mower as I walked the last few steps to our house, and that clinched it for me. Already sweaty and slighty grubby from my run (even the tip of my pony tail was dripping) I decided to stay in my running skirt and get busy in the dirt.

And the day was officially started…

One by one, each activity seemed to only prompt the next. I spent hour after hour taking care of the things around the house that I’d let fall by the wayside in the full-on sprint that always comes at the end of another school year. When the day turned to night, I collapsed in the same spot as I’d spent my quiet time that morning. Somewhat tired again, but fulfilled.

Again I was quiet and reflective. Again I was filled with thankfulness for His care of me. Again I was very much aware of His mercy at work in my life.

On my own I am so weak. On my own I falter and question and - sometimes - whine.

On my own, I am just a woman. ONE woman.

I can only give so much as a friend. I can only instruct so much as a mother. I can only succeed so much as a student and as a writer.

I can only do so much.

But with Him…with Him all things are possible.

I may very well be a woman on the cusp of her midlife years.

But I very much feel like a little girl running into the arms of her God.

If you give a girl her God, she can do most anything.

Tags: faith, flower beds, God's girl

May 18, 2008 @ 4:38 pm | Filed under: Soul Food

Our worship leader was commenting during last night’s service about old hymns, such as Amazing Grace and others like it.

 He said he often wondered what the inspiration behind these songs that have withstood the test of time was.

His words made me think of this clip that I received from someone last week.

Enjoy! I hope it inspires you as much as it did me.

Tags: amazing grace, black keys, Wintley Phipps