Archive for the 'Motherhood' Category
July 9, 2008 @ 11:57 am | Filed under: Jorge, Motherhood
Jorge came home from Victoria a few days ago with the biggest box of all kinds of wonderfully delicious cookies. All especially packaged by Elizabeth.
Nestled among the chocolate-chip cookies, the lemon cookies, the oatmeal cookies - was this beautifully decorated strawberry one. With an equally beautiful note attached to it.
I had to stare at the card for a few seconds before I realized that the “Mrs. Wilder” on the front of the card was…ME!
Thank you, Elizabeth, for the beautiful words, the beautiful gift, and for always being so thoughtful!
June 22, 2008 @ 12:55 pm | Filed under: 5 Minutes for Mom, Motherhood, Uniquely Me
I posted over at Faith Lifts today…
devotions, Motherhood, parenting
June 20, 2008 @ 10:08 am | Filed under: 5 Minutes for Mom, Motherhood, The Writing Life
I am very excited and honored to be working with the wonderful women and moms at 5 Minutes for Mom. It’s phenomenal to have a place where we women can come together in our faith and in our calling as moms - both in the home and in the workplace - and know that we have a sisterhood that ‘has our back.’
I’m posting today over at The Sampler, which is a weekly column of 5 Minutes for Mom that brings you exclusive samplings from the some of the best mom blogs. For weekly encouragement, please check them out regularly. I promise you’ll be blessed!
5 Minutes for Mom, Add new tag, encouragement, mom blogs
June 8, 2008 @ 6:48 am | Filed under: Motherhood, Soul Food, The Writing Life
Every once in a while a door of opportunity will swing open wide, and we know for certain that it is God who is bidding us to walk through it.
This is what happened to me when Faith Lifts invited me to be one of their devotional contributors a couple of weeks ago. The people that I’ve met so far - Shera and the other writers - are nothing short of warm and welcoming. Already I feel at home, and very excited about this very special place!
As a writer, this is an opportunity to share bits and pieces of what God lays on my heart. As a mom, this is a place to find needed encouragement and strength. But - maybe most importantly - as a woman, Faith Lifts is a place where godly women are endeavoring to hear His voice and allowing Him to direct their lives and the lives of their families.
My first devotion with Faith Lifts is up today. If you find time to check it out, please linger a bit longer and read the words of wisdom and encouragement that other Faith Lifts writers have on their hearts.
I promise you’ll leave uplifted!
May 12, 2008 @ 5:55 pm | Filed under: Family, Motherhood
The first Mother’s Day is almost always such a special time in a woman’s life.
I remember my own, back in 1988, when I was a brand new mom with a roly-poly four-month old little boy. During those early months, there are lots of special ‘firsts’ - first smile, first uninterrupted four hours of sleep, first tooth, etc…
New moms are tired, but they are also filled with joy in a way that just can’t be explained until motherhood is experienced firsthand. So when that first Mother’s Day rolls around, new moms everywhere truly do feel like a new member of a special club.
And it is.
For the next eighteen years (and, ladies, that’s a minimum, from what I’m told), this child is yours to lead, to enjoy, to guide, to laugh with, to instruct, to correct, to cajole…
It is the hardest job…but it pays the highest dividends.
It is the least thankful job….but it is the most fulfilling.
It is the one job that allows for zero vacation days…but it is the place where you feel most at home.
This year it was my sister-in-law’s turn to experience her first Mother’s Day. I know the day was bittersweet for her because it was also the first Mother’s Day without her own mom, who lost a battle with cancer this past November.
Robyn, in honor of all that has come into your life, and in memory of what once was, here’s a poem I found. I want you to know that we love you immensely and are so happy that you’re a part of our family!
Tomorrow and A Day
“Mom, I have a boo boo,
Could you kiss it, make it well?
I tried to ride my new bike
but I crashed it then I fell.”
I will kiss your pain away.
I will dry your little tears.
I will rock you in the cradle.
I will soothe away your fears.
“Mom, is that my baby sister?
Do you still love me too?
Can you fix my broken teddy?
Can we paint my bedroom blue?”
I will love you till tomorrow.
For tomorrow’s never end.
I will fix a heart that’s broken
and I promise it will mend.
“Mom is Santa Claus a real man?
Can you take my sister back?
When will Dad be home from work?
May I have another snack?”
I will tell you about Jesus
and the gifts he brought to you.
One of them is little sister
and we’ll eat with Dad at two.
“Mom, how does a firefly glow
like the color of the moon?
Can we go to the playground?
Can we buy a red balloon?”
I can’t give you all the answers
but I’ll try my best to be
loving, caring, and forgiving
as I hope you’ll be with me.
“Mom, why do bad things happen?
Is God mad at you and me?
Mom, will you always love me
even when I’m sixty three?”
If you’re feeling overwhelmed
get down on your knees and pray
and remember that you’re loved
till tomorrow and a day…
Happy first Mother’s Day, Robyn!
babies, Family, Mother's Day, traditions
April 22, 2008 @ 6:31 pm | Filed under: Motherhood, Summer at the ballpark
Tonight it was Nate and I who headed to the ballpark around seven-ish for game #2 of what we’ve affectionately dubbed ‘the summer at the ballpark.’ Our family is quickly becoming some of the Roughriders’ top fans, I do believe!
Nate and I enjoyed the game, the hotdogs, and the unlimited supply of Diet Coke but - most of all - we enjoyed one another’s company. He just moved home from his college apartment last week so this night was somewhat of a treat for us both.
August 15, 2007 @ 4:16 am | Filed under: Motherhood
It’s 5:30 in the morning and I’m up early, knowing that Round Two of The Moves is just ahead. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee downstairs is luring me and I’ll sit in the quiet, still dark living room and enjoy a couple of cups before pulling on my workout clothes and putting today’s walk behind me.
My morning prayers have been whispered as well, in the stillness of my bedroom, as I awoke with, both, a sense of delightful anticipation and a sad pang of…well, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
Today Jorge moves to his own College Town and today will probably go much like Monday did. The exception is that, for this drive, Jorge will be in the car with me and we will have HOURS to talk on the way. Don’t you know he’s going to love that? Don’t ALL eighteen year olds love this kind of trapped-and-can’t-get-out-cause-we’re-driving kind of conversations with their moms?
But in all honesty, all the heavy conversations are behind us. The past weeks and months have been dotted with conversations around our house. Conversations where we’ve given advice, shared tips, communicated concerns, and mostly just tried to prepare this second son for the adventure that awaits him.
So now he’s ready and, amazingly, so am I. Though I can’t deny the tears that refused to stay bottle any longer last night and I gave in and let my heart and mind explore the changes that are enveloping our family and our home, when the tears dried and my heart was still, I only felt joy.
Deep, true joy. Jorge will be fine. This next step in his life will mold him and help to shape him and his future. And I will still be right here, always ready to talk whenever and wherever he might need me.
In the meantime, I’m doing my best to take a step back and let him grow up and venture out, knowing that we’ve instilled in him a deep faith and equipped him with an everlasting hope.
And as for this Empty Nest thing, well as someone so aptly put it, "how can a nest be empty if it’s filled with good things?" And my nest is filled with many, many wonderfully enticing things. Love, hope, friendship and a safe place for us all.
So, Mike Baby, when I pick you up at the airport tonight, I’ll be the woman with the party hat stuck on her head and the big, goofy grin on her face, okay?
Let’s get this adventure started!
August 13, 2007 @ 11:26 pm | Filed under: Motherhood
Our day began early. 3:30 a.m., to be exact.
Mike had an early morning flight to New Orleans, where he is scheduled to teach training sessions and call on customers for the next few days. By 4:20 he is showered, dressed, and out the door. I can tell that he is hesitant to leave and the words left unspoken between us are many.
The next time I see him will be when I pick him up at the San Antonio airport. By then I will have delivered both sons to their respective college campuses and life as we now know it will be altered.
A mere few hours later and Nate and I are staring down two loaded-to-capacity vehicles. His Mustang and our van.
I wave him good-bye, telling him I’ll be just a little way behind him on the highway. The truth, though, is that I could use just a few more minutes to acclimate to the coming hours and days.
Today is moving day for Nate and, by the looks of everything that is carefully packed and stacked into our cars, he is ready. Releasing him to another year away at school is somewhat easier this year. He has one year under his belt and the adjustment period for him will be minor, I know.
And yet my mother’s heart feels tight and constricted within my chest. I slowly down a final cup of coffee, check last minute emails and - basically - stall the inevitable. It’s time for me to climb behind the wheel and make the three hour drive to deliver the furniture and help Nate settle into what has become his life.
A life I am immensely proud of, even as I swipe at tears and will my worries to vacate the premises. He is no longer a child, but a capable, strong, and intelligent young man. He’s made numerous references this summer to the internships he looks forward to next summer and I know - though I may try so hard to ignore it - that life is shifting for us all. Nate is claiming his future, taking responsibility and working toward something that he is passionate about.
For this I am grateful.
Once behind the wheel, I pull through Sonic for that crucial Diet Coke, stick in my new favorite CD, crank up the volume, and hit the highway. By the time I’m on the long stretch between home and the campus that has become a second home to this family, I’m snapping my fingers and bee-bopping my head to the music blasting inside the van and coursing through my heart. This is what I’m singing along to.
I pull into College Town a few hours later, with a renewed happy heart and a secure knowledge that my life - and the lives of those I love - is in the best possible care ever.
My Father’s hands.
August 8, 2007 @ 8:15 am | Filed under: Motherhood
"Are you okay?" Mike paused and turned, his overnight bag in one hand, his computer bag in the other.
I stood in the open doorway and nodded, doing my best to answer honestly. Not so much for his sake, as for my own.
"This is the beginning, isn’t it?" I met his eyes and forced a smile I didn’t totally feel. Not yet at least.
"It is." He hesitated and I waved him on, knowing that no words would ease me through the next few days. Time - I just needed a little time, and that’s what this week would be for. Four days alone to adjust to the fact that in less than a week Mike and I would have The Empty Nest.
I watched as he climbed into the van, where Jorge was already waiting in the passenger seat. I had stood in this same doorway hours earlier, waving to Nate as he backed out of the driveway, headed back to campus to finalize all of the paperwork on his housing for this school year.
The plan was that, since Mike was working this week in the Houston area, that all three of my guys would hang together for a couple of days. After some good male bonding, the boys will head off on their own for a last minute get-away to Galveston. By the time they return on Friday night, only the weekend will remain before they pack and leave for their respective campuses and school year.
My plan was a simple one. Spend the time shopping for the last minute things they’ll each need for their apartment and dorm, get their laundry caught up, and - maybe most importantly - spend the time in thought and prayer as I prepare to send my boys out into the world without me.
What has surprised me most this week is that I’m ready for this. As I sat at dinner with three close girlfriends on Monday night, I knew not only that I am prepared, but that the boys are too.
"I’ve done all that I can do. Now I have to trust that I’ve taught them well. It’s up to them now."
As I heard myself speaking these words, a mighty calm settled over this mother’s heart. It was true, and there is serenity in this knowledge. Both Nate and Jorge are equipped to handle whatever Life may bring their way. They will struggle and fight and play and laugh, and then struggle some more. They’ll jump the same hurdles and navigate the same mazes we all have to jump and navigate. But they are ready for this.
And so am I.
For the past twenty years I have been someone’s mother. Sure, I am wife, daughter, friend, writer, and student. I have numerous hobbies and interests. My life is full and fun.
But the stark truth is that for the past two decades it is the role of MOM that has defined me. It has been my breath when other things in Life has knocked me to my knees. It has been my joy when dark clouds hovered overhead. It has been my strength when I felt weak and imcompetent.
See, motherhood takes no vacations. There are no sick days, no mental health days, no part-time status, and it absolutely accepts NO resignations. And you’re never fired from the job, for certain!
For every decision I’ve made about my own life, I’ve made three or four for the boys’ lives. For every worry I’ve endured for my own set of circumstances, I’ve agonized endlessly over my sons’ problems. For every dream I’ve had the courage to dream for myself, I’ve braved taller mountains and more treacherous valleys to dream the mighty things in Life into being for my boys.
Motherhood is what I do.
And yet - I feel the subtle, soft winds of change begin to wisp through my soul this week and I am so very, very okay with it. The house is quiet around me, most certainly a whispered prelude to the weeks and months and years to come.
But instead of the dreaded stillness that I had envisioned, I only feel tranquility and I have to wonder…is this too a whisper? A soft promise of wonderful things that - even now - lie just on the horizon of all our lives?
On this third day of alone time and speculation, with the boys’ stuff piled into two distinct sections downstairs in the dining room, I feel tingles of deep anticipation.
Excitement.
Joy.
This is not an ending, by any means. It’s truly the "beginning," just as I had phrased it earlier in the week to Mike. Same story, just a whole new chapter. A new adventurous chapter for them, and a delicious new chapter for us.
I feel certain there is happy reading ahead for all us.
Nate’s stuff - Move date: Monday, August 13th - Second year SAM!
Jorge’s stuff: Move date - Wednesday, August 15th - FRESHMAN!
July 5, 2007 @ 3:13 pm | Filed under: Motherhood
Sometimes I’m amazed by how much I enjoy being a parent of teen-agers. I don’t think I expected to find this much pleasure, during these years. But I do.
At 19 and 18, it delights me — sometimes it just really surprises me — to realize that they are distinct individuals who no longer mimic my opinions, views, or thoughts. My goodness — they have minds of their own, and aren’t afraid to use them!
Granted, that’s not always a good thing! Seems that a quick retort, smart mouth, and an intense desire to have the last word were bonuses that came unneatly packaged with the free-thinking, individualistic teen I originally bargained for.
But somewhere in the last few years– long after I finally realized that I had to look up to talk to them while standing and, when hugging them good-bye each morning, my cheek now rests against their chests — it’s occured to me that these two delightfully unique guys are turning into men right in front of my eyes. And not just men - but men that I’m proud to say belong to me. Men that, as long as they continue to keep God first in their lives, will take responsibility, not only for their own lives, but for the world around them.
Of course, the next several years are crucial ones. I’m not naive enough to believe that the hard stuff is behind us, or that this free-thinking individual that so enamours me right now might not use that same individuality to drive me nuts with worry or fear in the future. There’s still some shaping to be done by us, their parents, and there’s still plenty of emotions, goals, and directives that will ride that proverbial roller coaster of uncertainty, indecisiveness, and insecurities.
But I’m enjoying the ride. And — while I don’t want to rush the "now", I have to admit I look forward to seeing the end result.
I came across this a while back. I don’t know the original author, but I like the way he/she thinks:
Eleven Simple Rules for Teens
1. Life is not fair - get used to it.
2. The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
3. You will NOT make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be vice-president with a car phone, until you earn both.
4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.
5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.
6. If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
7. Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way by paying your bills and cleaning your clothes. So before you save the rain forests of the world from the parasites of your parents’ generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
8. Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you multiple chances to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
9. Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
10. Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. (Seriously.)
11. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll either end up working for one — or falling in love with one!
