Archive for the 'he said she said' Category
July 6, 2008 @ 10:49 am | Filed under: he said she said
Independence Day may very well be one of my favorite holidays, second only to Thanksgiving.
There is just something about our country’s colors - red, white, & blue - flying with pride and joy everywhere you look that fills me with excitement.
Our church hosts an annual Celebrate Freedom day that is always a great time for families.
Mike and I spent a good part of the afternoon in lawn chairs next to one another, watching a half-dozen teams battle it out for first place on the sand volleyball courts.
Poor Mike.
I think it may have been the heat that somehow tricked his tongue into saying the. most. WRONG. thing. EVER!
MIKE: “Hey, you want to trade chairs?”
ME: “That’s okay. I’m good.”
MIKE: “Really? ‘Cause this one’s bigger. And sturdier.”
I pushed my sunglasses to the top of my head and turned to him, slowly and deliberately. I promise, folks, you could literally see the inner conversation going on inside of him. I watched it play out in his brown eyes, doing my best to keep my smile hidden, and to put on the most hurt face I could muster up.
I’m pretty sure he was doing some fast praying and I think it may have gone something like this:
Dear GOD! What have I done? Rescue me now from the wrath that is my wife who is sitting a mere six inches from me and from the look on her face she could very well inflict considerable damage to this shell of a man. (Me. I’m talking about me, God.) If you see fit, Lord, please just open up this here ground beneath me and swallow me up, offensive bigger, sturdier lawn chair and all.
And then I had to spoil this reverent moment between him and God by busting out in laughter. Ladies, we know that no husband in their right mind would dare to even think these words, let alone voice them out loud!
Plus, it helped a lot knowing that I’m a tiny woman up next to my husband and - at twelve inches shorter and a good 130 pounds lighter - I’m fairly confident his mouth somehow mixed up what his brain meant to say.
At least that’s his story and he’s sticking to it.
May 31, 2008 @ 4:10 pm | Filed under: he said she said
Mike: “You ready?”
He is kneeling, waiting for me to join him for our morning prayer time.
I am, meanwhile, running around our bedroom, gathering up last minute things and dumping them in my purse.
I have about three-and-a-half minutes, tops, before I need to be walking out the door this morning.
Me: “Yes, I’m coming.”
I slide into my 3-inch black pumps right as I reach him.
Me: “Oh, yeah. NOW I’m five-FIVE!”
I quickly drop to my knees and try to switch gears really fast, turning my thoughts to prayer time.
Mike (shaking his head and pretending to pray): “Lord, help her to grow.”
Me (whispering, although I have no idea WHY): “Taller, please. NOT wider.”
May 22, 2008 @ 6:12 pm | Filed under: Summer at the ballpark, he said she said
(The following conversation takes place on the drive to the game. Obviously, we’re both hungry…)
Mike: “You know what I’m going to have tonight?”
Me: “I don’t know about you, but I’m going to have a hot dog.”
Mike: “Me too. Isn’t it funny how we never eat hot dogs except when we’re at a baseball game?”
Me: “That’s because they really do taste good at games.”
Mike: “I’m going to have mustard on mine.”
Me: “Oooo, and relish.”
Mike: “Don’t forget the cheese.”
Me: “Definitely going to have cheese.”
Mike: “And onions…”
Me: “Blech. Don’t think so, mister. No onions.”
Mike: “You know…they say that if you have a little onion too, you’ll never even notice the onion on my breath…”
Me: “I hear that’s what ‘they’ say.”
Mike: “So you’ll eat onion?”
Me: “We’ll see…” (Translated: not in THIS lifetime!)
(Twenty minutes later, as we’re walking into the ballpark.)
Mike (pointing in the opposite direction of the hot dog place) : “Let’s go have barbeque at Sonny Bryan’s.”
Me (shrugging): “Sure. Okay.”
America's favorite pasttime, baseball, Roughriders
May 14, 2008 @ 12:51 pm | Filed under: he said she said
”Is this stuff good?” Mike stood at the open refrigerator. Partially hid by the door, he stuck an arm out and I caught a glimpse of the yogurt container he clutched in his hand.
“Sure. I think so.” I shrugged, assuming he meant is it good as in it’s not expired yet, is it? It was yogurt, for goodness’ sake, the older it is, the more yogurt-y it is, right?
“No. I mean, is it good?”
He carried the container into the living room, sank into his chair, peeled back the foil lid, and dubiously gazed into the creamy depths of the stuff. “Yogurt. Is it good?”
I sat up and stared at him, realization dawning. “You’ve never had yogurt before? Ever?”
He shook his head and cautiously dipped his spoon inside the carton. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t aware of the priceless facial expressions that made me wish my camera was at hand.
I sat on the edge of the sofa and watched as he took the inaugural taste. It was a tiny bite, to be sure, and for those who know my husband - you know he doesn’t do small bites!
“Hm…” His eyebrows raised in a modest show of appreciation. “This stuff isn’t bad.”
I couldn’t resist at this point.
I raced for the camera and was back just into time to capture a perfect shot…of the bottom of the container.
I think he liked it.
Her favorites: Yo+ (any flavor) and Activia (vanilla)
His favorites: Yoplait (peach, blueberry)
May 2, 2008 @ 3:40 pm | Filed under: he said she said
Because sometimes conversations are just wacky enough to record!
MIKE (attempting to give me driving directions): “Stay on 121. You’ll exit right before you get to Nokia.”
ME: “There’s a Nokia in Frisco? Really? Hm…”
MIKE: “Yeah. Nokia. You know, the dish place.”
ME: “Dish place. Huh?”
MIKE (heavy sigh): Yeah, the dish place. The big box store that sells dishes.”
ME: “Oh! You mean Ikea.”
MIKE: “No. Ikea are the flatware people. They make knives and forks.”
ME: “Uh. No. That would be the Oneida people.”
I know, I know! You simply cannot make this stuff up.
