Mr. Romance

In Life with Lord Byron: Laughter, Romance, and Lessons Learned from Golf’s Greatest Gentleman, Peggy Nelson pens a charming personal memoir.

Her detailed recall of conversations and situations reveals a deep love that marked the Nelsons’ relationship and nearly twenty-year marriage must have kept her memories fresh. 

Byron married Peggy, more than thirty years his junior, at age seventy-five. Since her husband retired in 1946 after a career that included the famous “Eleven Straight” PGA tournament victory streak, Peggy experienced none of his career firsthand. What she did experience, however, was a man of deep faith, love, and integrity.
 

 Here’s an excerpt: Read it, enjoy it, and then leave a comment for a chance to win a copy of the book, which includes a CD of Byron Nelson himself reminiscing.

By Peggy Nelson

There were moments in our nearly twenty years together when I would fall far short of Byronʼs or even my own standards of patience, perseverance, and several other virtues. When I would wonder aloud to him about how he managed to put up with me, or what he saw in me in the first place, he would sometimes say, “I saw what you could be.” Isnʼt that amazing? He had such a gift for not only seeing the best in people but helping them, often in some unspoken way, to bring it out, and to become better people just because they had been around him, even for a little while. Youʼre beginning to see, I think, why I have always felt that Iʼm an extraordinarily blessed woman.

One of the most wonderful signs of Byronʼs love was something he did for our second anniversary. Unbeknownst to me he had gone out to Preston Trail where there was a display of some of his medals and other small mementos and asked if he could replace the 1937 Masters Gold Medal with another one he had. They cooperated, fortunately, and he then took that precious piece of history to our jeweler and had it made into a beautiful pendant and gave it to me. It truly brought tears to my eyes, because I knew that was the most important tournament in his career to him, so I understood how much it signified of not only his love for me but also his trust that I could prove worthy of such a gift.

You may wonder what our days and weeks and months and years together were like. We quickly developed a comfortable pattern of normalcy. When we were at home, we had breakfast together, and then Byron would do the dishes and go out to his shop for some woodworking. He would come in later for lunch, then go back to the shop or maybe to play golf with friends in Dallas or Fort Worth. We typically had a fairly early dinner and relaxed in the evenings together. At first I remember Byron had been so used to going to bed early while Louise was ill that he thought 9:30 was about the right time to go to sleep. But he had also been used to getting up at 5:30 or 6 to take care of Louise.

Fortunately, we were soon able to change that schedule by a couple of hours.  Soon after we celebrated our first one-month anniversary, Byron announced his next goal was to make it to one hundred months, which we gleefully celebrated with an elegant dinner at the Four Seasons. The monthly anniversaries continued until we got to ten years, then he wanted to get to two hundred months, which we did. Each month was sweeter than the one before, until finally, just eleven days before he went to heaven, we celebrated number 238 at the Olive Garden, another of our favorite restaurants. How we delighted in each other!

When we were driving to Dallas, Fort Worth, Kerrville or wherever, we held hands. Byronʼs were always so warm, and of course, if you ever got to shake hands with him, you knew his hands were really big. In fact, when we were first married, his grip on mine as we drove along would slowly, gradually, get tighter and tighter until I would need to shake mine a little bit to restore the circulation. One time when I did that, he apologized and said, “I guess Iʼm trying to make sure youʼre not going to go back to Ohio.” Fat chance. 

As everyone who knew Byron well would agree, he was a born encourager. He found ways to express his appreciation and enjoyment of others and did so at every opportunity. Above the other compliments from him, my very favorite was when he would say, “When you look at me, your eyes sparkle and dance!” It said so much about the feeling that flowed between the two of us. He really did light up my life so beautifully that it was the most natural thing in the world to reflect that light right back to him. I always had the same reaction when we had been separated even for as little as an hour at church, if I was helping with a childrenʼs class while he was in the adult Bible study. When I would catch sight of him again, my heart would beat faster, and Iʼd say to myself, There he is!

 We had so many pet names for each other that some folks might find it a bit silly, but we enjoyed and used every single one: Honeypot, Queen of All Queens, Sleeping Tiger, Adorable Darling, Angeldoll, Cuddlebear, and the like. And of course, on a more formal note, we occasionally addressed each other as Mr. Nelson and Mrs. Nelson just for the sheer joyful fun of it.

I felt so secure, so completely cherished and appreciated in every way with Byron. His praise of my every little accomplishment, or sometimes just the way I walked, was unceasing. It occurred to me that, if we could only hear what God is saying to us, it would be like that, too—constant praise and gentle guidance when we needed it. Or occasionally it might be a stronger no when a temptation gets a little too strong for us to handle by ourselves.

KCWC is now scheduling interviews with Peggy Nelson. Contact Kathy Carlton Willis at WillisWay@aol.com for more information.

Reading and reviewing Meredith Efken’s  Lucky Baby  is like taking in a long, cool drink that refreshes the heart of a mother in a way that is totally unexpected—but greatly appreciated.  With the pressure to either 1) become a mother or 2) be a SuperMom, this novel’s main theme of a mother’s love is absolutely relevant in today’s culture.

 I found the stark honesty rang true and I think many moms will recognize themselves or someone they know in Efken’s well-developed characters. The story itself is engaging, with a literary technique called magical realism which includes some elements of fantasy in a realistic world. The emotions run high in this book, and this raises the intensity level in several parts of the story.

 All her life, Meg Lindsay’s mother told her what a disappointment she was. Try as she might, Meg never measured up, and the emotional bruises still hurt as an adult. In Meg’s opinion, no one could be a worse mother than the woman who gave birth to her—that is, until Meg has a child of her own to care for.

 Two young girls lived in an orphanage in China. Unwanted because of a deformity and the lack of family registry, Little Zhen An was destined to spend her childhood in the orphanage. Her only friend was a slightly older blind girl, Wen Ming.

 After Meg and her husband, Lewis, adopt one of the girls, Meg’s love for her new daughter grows daily, but the tension, fear, and uncertainty of motherhood drive Meg to the brink of despair. Fearing that she is becoming the kind of mother she hates, she fights circumstance, rebellion, a loving but at times tense marriage, setbacks, and the native selfishness that lives in all of us.

 Meg’s journey is a magical one as East meets West and as imagination aligns with reality. Lucky Baby spans the world, bridges the gap between heart and soul, and shows that the greatest power on Earth is forgiveness.

 Meredith Efken is the author of the critically acclaimed SAHM I Am series that traces the friendship of a group of stay-at-home mothers through their emails to each other.

She has been a finalist for the Romantic Times Reviewer’s Choice award and the ACFW Book of the Year award, and critics use phrases like “charming,” “fresh,” and “pure delight” to describe her humorous yet insightful comedies.

Her newest book, Lucky Baby, broadens her literary horizons with a story full of mystical and spiritual wonder about an American family that adopts a child from China and the blind orphan girl who strives to create a family for herself in a lonely world.

 In addition to writing, Meredith is also owner of the Fiction Fix-It Shop, which offers freelance fiction editing and writing coaching, with the mission of encouraging other writers to reach their full potential. She serves on the steering team of her local writers’ group and volunteers as an online teacher for American Christian Fiction Writers.

 In her “spare” time, she and her husband enjoy learning Argentine tango and hanging out at the local bookstore. She studies Chinese and Welsh on a semi-random basis and plays keyboard and sings with her church’s worship band. She and her husband have two lively daughters, one very naughty snowshoe cat, and one very lazy Great Dane. They all live in a ramshackle Victorian fixer-upper in Nebraska.

Feeling Lost? Need Directions?

Author Shares Six Tips for Finding Your Route

(Orlando, Florida) Have you ever wished you could look into the future and obtain better insight in order to make wiser decisions for your best outcome? So many times, results from poor choices could have been avoided if we had seriously considered the direction of God’s guidance for our lives, instead of trying to figure things out on our own. In her book, Direction: Discernment for the Decisions of Your Life, Cheri Cowell presents six questions readers should ask themselves when facing important decisions. Through observation and exploration, she examines each question and shares examples of how others–from Bible times to present day–have used these questions to find God’s way in the story of their lives. From career options to medical decisions to relationship questions, Cowell’s instruction and guidance helps readers learn how to make confident choices as they seek God’s direction on the road of life. 

Paperback: 192 pages

Publisher: Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City

ISBN-10: 0834123355

ISBN-13: 978-0834123359

Cost: $14.99 

For more information, see: http://directionanddiscernment.com/index.html

 Blog Tour Questions:

Obviously, the search for God’s will is a topic of interest to many Christians today. What would you say is the most common misconception about seeking God’s direction for ones life?  

I encounter this same question every time I speak on this topic. The answer is what I call the Myth of the Path of Relative Ease, which says when we finally find God’s perfect will we’ll be on easy street. Easy Street promises smooth sailing and a peace-filled life. But I’ve learned this is anything but biblical. The Bible tells us we can’t use an ‘easy life’ as a road-sign pointing to His way. In fact, His way promises to be a bumpy road filled with potholes and dangerous cliffs. The exciting thing for us is when we learn to walk in His ways, we’ll have a Companion for the journey who knows the dangerous curves ahead.

In Direction, you write about the process of determining if something is God’s will or not. You say to test it against the character of God. How can we know what the character of God is like?

I don’t presume to know all there is to know about who God is, but when looking for the leading hand of God, it’s important to know how we see that hand. Some see God’s guidance as that of a loving Father showing His child the best way to live so as to protect from harm, others know Him as a Best Friend who shares all that’s needed to make wise decisions. Then there are those who see God as a Guide, almost like a whitewater rafting guide who’s been down this rapid before and can show the way.

When you are personally faced with a big decision to make, what’s the first thing you do?

LOL, I think I’m like most people. I have well-worn paths I retreat to, and some are not healthy. I’m afraid I tend to talk it out with friends instead of first talking to my Best Friend. I’m fear-filled first instead of crawling up in my Father’s heavenly lap and seeking His heart on the matter. And yes, I also rely on the common road signs most of us have relied upon when making big decisions—Bible reading, prayer, open & closed doors, and the sense of peace we’re to have when walking in God’s light. This last list sounds like a good thing, but I’ve learned there’s a good way to do this and a not-so-good way. The not-so-good way is the one that says these road signs are to point me to God’s perfect will. The ‘good way’ is to use these same road signs as a means of drawing closer to the heart of God instead of looking for a hidden will. It is in this position, close to the heart of God, where we are best able to hear from God.

Sometimes we think we only need to go to God about the big decisions in our lives. What evidence do you have from God’s Word that He is interested in every decision?

I call this the Too Big and Too Small God problem. When we make our God so big, He becomes aloof and distant. When we buy into this lie we only go to God when the decision is big enough. Such decisions often find us at God’s door begging for direction such as, “Who am I supposed to marry; should I take this job and move my family; or is it ever okay to take my loved one off life support?” These are indeed big decisions that require a Big God, but if we’re only going to God when a situation is big enough, we’re missing most of life. Most of life is lived in the humdrum of everyday decision-making. It is the ordinary day-in-and-day-out little things like, “’Do I run this yellow light; do I tell her how I really feel even if it means losing a friend; or do I pick up the phone and call that person I’ve been thinking about all day?” where the little things add up to become big things. Satan tries to tell us these are the small things a Big God should not be bothered with. This is one of his favorite tools. He used these same lies with Jesus during His temptation in the desert, but Jesus knew they were lies. We, too, need to learn to identify Satan’s lying tongue.

You’re continuing your education at Asbury Theological Seminary. What are you hoping to do once you finish your degree?

It is my prayer to write and speak biblical truths more effectively. I am so blessed to have this opportunity to earn a Masters in Theological Studies. As I gain more knowledge, I’ve seen my writing and speaking gain power and conviction.

When a Christian is totally consumed and overwhelmed by the stress of making the right decision, it is tough to put everything in perspective. Are there some practical tips you can share so that he/she can still continue with their everyday life?

Certainly. My first suggestion is to take time to be alone with God. Our God-time is often the first casualty of a stress-filled life, but this is precisely the time when we need Him the most. Next, find some help. The Christian life is not to be a solitary event. Even Jesus went to the Garden with four friends. Share with a handful of committed Christians your struggles, ask for practical help if necessary, and then invite them to lift you up in intercessory prayer. This last step is forming what I call a Clearness Community. Through this Community you will hear God’s voice more clearly than any one of us can discern on our own.

How is Direction an extension of your own personal search for God’s will?

As I answer these questions I’m sitting in Tennessee in a vacation cabin where my husband and I are seeking God’s direction about a potential move here from our home in Florida. My friends have teased, “You know, there’s this really good book you should read…” Their levity allows me to keep things in perspective as we weigh the options, seek the leading of the Holy Spirit, and trust in a God who walks with us no matter what decisions we make.

BONUS MATERIAL

Toughest Decisions

You’ll Ever Make

 

 

* Is he/she the right one for me (to marry)?

Scriptures: Hebrews 13:4, 1 Cor. 7, Gen. 2:18,21-25

 

*  Is this the right job/career-move for me?

Scriptures: 1 Cor. 3:10, Romans 1:8-13

 

* Do I believe God is who He says He is?

Scriptures: John 12:42; John 6:35; John 8:12; John 10:9; 11; John 11:25; John 14:6

 

* Which daycare/school/aftercare/babysitter is the best choice for my son/daughter?

Scriptures: Ephesians 6:4, 1 Timothy 3:4, 5:10; Deut. 11:18-19

 

* Which church do I join? On the flip side, should I leave my church and find another?

Scriptures: 1 Cor. 1:10, Romans 12:5, 1 Cor. 10:17, Romans 16:17

 

* What treatment options for my/my loved one’s life threatening disease (cancer, leukemia) should I pursue? Which doctor should I choose?

Scriptures: 1 Cor. 12:9, Ex 15:26, Psalms 133:3, 147:3

 

* Do I/Can I forgive that person? Can I ever forgive myself?

Scriptures: Matthew 5:44, Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 18:21-35, Colossians 3:13

 

* Do we pursue infertility treatments or accept that children are not a part of God’s plan for us?

Scriptures: Prov. 31:28; Genesis 30:1-3,22; Acts 18:1-3,18,19,26

 

* How do I/we care for my aging in-laws/parent(s)—home healthcare/nursing home/move them to my/our home?

Scriptures: Proverbs 17:6, Romans 12:10, Eph. 6:1-3

 

* Should I take my loved one off life-support?

Scriptures: Psalm 116:15-16, 1 Cor. 15:20-22, Rev. 21:1-4

 

* Should we go into debt for…? Is it okay to file bankruptcy? What if we lose everything?

Scriptures: Proverbs 19:1, Mark 12:42, Romans 3:18, Exodus 22:25-27

 

Cheri Cowell http://www.directionanddiscernment.com/

Take a break from whatever you’re doing, sit down for a few moments and focus your thoughts and your heart on one or two of the prayers in this book. You’ll be thankful that you did!  Marion Stroud’s prayerful meditations will take you to the Father’s feet with the honest concerns of your own life.

In Dear God, It’s Me you will find six sections that cover every aspect of a woman’s life: A Woman Within, A Woman and Marriage, A Woman and Her Children, A Woman at Work, A Woman Who Cares, and A Woman Growing Older. The topics range from A Bride’s Prayer on the eve of her wedding to Feeling Unwanted and such concerns as Blue Monday, Mid-Life Crisis, After Chemotherapy, and Bereavement. Singleness and marriage, parenting and career, caring for others and growing older … with imagination and inspiration Marion Stroud offers prayers for every season of a woman’s life.

Meet Marion through the Q&A below and then leave a comment and be entered into a drawing for a free copy of this awesome book!

What are your own private times with God like?

If I’m totally honest about my quiet time, they can be very erratic when I’m under pressure. In an ideal world I would follow the contemplative tradition where I read, allow time to sit and listen to what I sense God might be saying, write it down in a journal and then pray about it. But, if I follow that pattern there’s the temptation to think that if I haven’t got, say half an hour, then there’s no point in starting. That’s wrong of course.  I don’t refuse to speak to my husband or children if I haven’t got the time for a heart-to-heart. So I try to put an hour aside once a week and ideally, half a day, once a month for a longer time of contemplation.

On other days I may use a devotional guide that might give me a short passage or even just a verse to think about. Writing the key point on a card and keeping it in my pocket means that I can remind myself and talk to God about it during moments. Catherine Marshall spoke of nuggets like this as being like vitamin pills that we should take daily with or after meals and that’s a goal for me this year! I also try to walk for 30 minutes first thing in the morning on weekdays–the theory being that I get my exercise before my body is awake enough to object! I have five post cards in my pocket on which I’ve written various topics and people to pray for. Most days I will pray for these things as I walk–but I try to bring praise and thanksgiving to God first.
 

Women go through so many experiences during the different seasons of life. How can a transparent prayer life with God help them to cope?

I remember when my father was dying with cancer. I had five children at home at the time, ranging in ages from 18 to 8. My two older children were doing public exams, which would decide their future academic path. I felt as if I was being torn into a dozen different pieces! I wanted to help my mom, be at home for my husband and children and support my father. A friend pointed out that I didn’t need to try and be God’s little helper. I couldn’t protect the rest of my family, or control the pressures they were facing. What I could do, however, was to take all these pressures and heartaches to the Lord, tell Him how frazzled and unhappy I was feeling (He knew anyway), and leave Him to deal with my needs and feelings and those of the rest of the family. It was like taking a really heavy bag to the foot of the cross and then just leaving it there. It was the “leaving it there” that was the key.

The prayers in Dear God It’s Me, and It’s Urgent! are very real-to-life. It’s almost like you can read the minds of other women who run to God with their own urgent life situations (big and small). Why do you think God is pleased to hear these very raw prayers?

 Jesus was always very honest when He spoke to people. Jesus knew what was in their hearts and He didn’t mince His words. God knows exactly what is going on in our lives and just as we can only really help a loved one if they are honest, so it is with God. He truly knows the best and the worst about us and loves us just the same. God already knows the underlying truth to our raw prayers and it is only when we acknowledge that truth to Him that we are open to hear His response!

How do women’s prayers change as the seasons of their lives change?

Older people sometimes find it hard to remember things and my husband reckons that this is because the “bank vault” of our memories is much fuller! It’s a bit the same with prayer. When I was young I knew what it was like to have the concerns and joys of being a “‘young mum” and sleepless nights and toddler tantrums loomed large in my prayers, while prodigal teenagers only happened to other people! As I’ve got older I can remember both the tantrums and the teenage stage but am also grappling with caring for the elderly and praying for those with serious illness. So the scope of my prayers widens. I have children and grandchildren, for whom the tantrums and teenaged years are still very much “today,” but, I have the concerns of my “today” to pray for as well. I can quite see why older people need more time to pray as they have so many things to pray about!

You can feel incredibly weighed down by all this need.  Sometimes I just have to remember to follow the suggestion of a friend of mine. She focuses on just one or two of the most urgent things and then pictures herself putting the rest of her concerns into a basket. She may picture the basket as one of those gondolas attached to a hot air balloon, and as she releases it, it floats away and she has no further responsibility for it–the wind of God’s Spirit has taken over. At other times she pictures it as the basket in which Moses was cradled as an infant, hidden in the reeds. She leaves it there, knowing that God might prompt her to do something to provide an answer to her prayer but in the meantime, He has it all in hand.
 
How can reading prayers be a comfort to women as they deal with their own life issues?

I see these written prayers as providing words where there are no words. When crisis times arise, you may feel that you just can’t voice your own feelings. Knowing that someone else has travelled on the same journey and survived, is an inexpressible comfort. It may also give you insights into what friends might be feeling and facing, when you haven’t had personal experience of that particular situation, so that you can be more supportive of their needs.
 
Discuss an example of an urgent time from your own life that became the inspiration for one of these prayers. How did God respond?

There have been an awful lot of urgent prayers in my life. But the one I remember most vividly, perhaps, is when our youngest son ran away from home. His three older siblings, who, the previous year had all been home-based the year before, were now at college university or travelling, and we had gone from a family of seven to a family of three in a few short months. I lay in the bath, with tears pouring down my cheeks, asking the Lord where we’d gone wrong. And God reminded me of the feeding of the 5,000 and the fact that the disciples were told to pick up the fragments of food that remained because nothing is wasted in His economy. Our older children had been relatively easy as teenagers, and without this experience, and the issues and events that surrounded it, I would have had a very different view of raising children. But now I was faced with a challenge. I could allow this experience to crush me, or, I could learn from it and share what I’ve learned with others. I chose to do the latter. It wasn’t easy but it has been a very valuable lesson for the many other crises that have beset my path since.
 
You’ve written quite a few books that have been read by women both in Great Britain and America. How do you find writing for American women different from British women? What are some similarities and universal truths that bond women from these two different continents together?

My American friends tell me that we Brits are more polite; I think that we’re more cynical! But when all is said and done, we’re all sisters under the skin! Britain is a much more secular society than America, and so what I write for a British audience would assume less faith or even familiarity with God and what He offers. But we share a common need for food, shelter, belonging and living a life that has meaning and purpose. We all love our families and struggle to be the best person we can be. We all realize that this is a tough call because we’re so aware of our weaknesses and failures.

Obviously there are a number of cultural differences. Even the words we use can mean different things on either side of the ocean. This is why a wise editor included a glossary in Dear God It’s Me. One of the words in the glossary refers to “Marmite.” Perhaps this is just as well. I shall always remember when a visiting American friend picked up a pot of Marmite. Marmite; a dark savoury spread, and spread it thickly on her toast, thinking that it was chocolate spread. Her horrified expression as the yeast extract hit her taste buds will remain with me forever!

Remember – leave a comment and you’ll automatically be entered for a chance to win a copy of Marion’s book at the end of the month! Stay tuned…

Tina Ann Forkner writes contemporary fiction that challenges and inspires. Originally from Oklahoma, she graduated with honors in English from CSU Sacramento before ultimately settling in the wide-open spaces of Wyoming where she now resides with her husband and their three children. Tina serves on the Laramie County Library Foundation Board of Directors and enjoys gardening, spending time outdoors with her family, and works as a full-time writer.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Sometimes, the key that unlocks your future lies in someone else’s past…

In Ruby Among Us, Lucy DiCamillo is safely surrounded by her books, music, and art─but none of these reclusive comforts or even the protective efforts of her grandmother, Kitty can shield her from the memory of the mother she can no longer remember. Lucy senses her grandmother holds the key, but Kitty seems as eager to hide from the past as Lucy is eager to find it.

From the streets of San Francisco and Sacramento, to the lush vineyards of the Sonoma Valley, Lucy follows the thread of memory in search for a heritage that seems long-buried with her mother, Ruby.

What she finds is enigmatic and stirring in this redemptive tale about the power of faith and mother-daughter love.

“What an incredible story. As both mothers and daughters, Ruby Among Us struck a special cord in each of the four of us. Tina writes in a way that makes us feel like we’re there; from the first line, we were captivated and drawn into an intricate weaving of the precious and fragile relationships that define us.”
~Point of Grace~

“Reading is a passion of mine, and when I find myself identifying with the characters, anxious to get to the next page to find answers to my questions, I know I’m into a good book! The daughter-mother-grandmother theme in Ruby Among Us pulled me in. Wonderful story-telling.”
~Jordin Sparks~, 2007 winner of American Idol

“Highly recommended. If you’re a mother or daughter, you’re going to love Ruby Among Us. Forkner does an extraordinary job…. I look forward to more from this author.”
~Ane Mulligan~, Novel Journey

“Don’t miss this one! Tina Ann Forkner is a strong new voice in fiction and Ruby Among Us is an amazing story of trials, regrets, and, ultimately, redemption. Lucy and her family history in the historic wine country of Sonoma bring to life the Scriptures about the Vine and His branches.”
~Kristin Billerbeck~, author of The Trophy Wives Club

If you would like to read the first chapter go HERE