July 15, 2010 @ 6:09 am | Filed under: Family,Uniquely Me

Things have felt a bit surreal these past few days.

I’m barely typing the first words of this post and already crying long-awaited restrained tears…exhaustion and love and grief and all that is to come…and family. 

I have reached an emotional crescendo like the summit of a mountain, and I am sitting here, trying to let it all soak in, and feel completely inept at putting it into words.

Mom opened Mama’s cedar chest a few days ago and found – literally – a treasure chest of richness.

Scrapbooks!!

Book after book after book, filled with photos, with news clippings, with ribbons, and awards. I take a lot of teasing for my scrapbooking tendencies…but evidently I come by it naturally.

If it could be scrapbooked – Mama captured it and put it one of her books.

We sat on the floor of the closet in the back bedroom – my Mom and I – and flipped through the books. There were books devoted to Mom, books focused on Uncle Ralph, a scrapbook  on World War II, and even an Elvis book. (You’d have to have known Mama to truly appreciate this one.)

For now my house is calm.  And quiet, except for the whir of the air conditioner and the dryer tossing a load of towels. After a tumultuous few days I am beginning to  feel  healed by the immersion of what matters most to me these past several days.

Family.

And, oh, how my heart puddles at the sight of my loved ones lovin’ on each other. We don’t get opportunities like these  much because we live so far away from one another and the get-togethers are few and far between. But these past days, here they are, scooping up this time – as inconvenient and as painful as it has been – and they are embracing the important.

Each other.

We are Mama and Dad’s family. Their living, breathing scrapbook.

We love one another with passion and purpose, and these days and these moments will go down in the scrapbooks of our minds and hearts.

How many times I’ve wanted lately to reach out and grab the reigns to our ever-changing, busy lives and just yank hard. Pull back with everything I have and slow things down until I feel I have control.

But  that’s impossible and –  if you think about it – bridled, trained life is just boring compared to the wild exhileration of just plain ‘ol living.

The only predictable thing about life is its unpredictability. It’s unbridled and wild and beautiful. …and that’s our life right now.

Tags: Family, grandchildren, memories