May 10, 2010 @ 6:34 am | Filed under: Family,Motherhood,Pure Sunshine

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I realized something last night as I crawled between the sheets and settled down for the night.

I had spent the last couple of hours in the kitchen, planning, cooking, anticipating our Mother’s Day lunch as a family. Robyn’s dad and sister are in town, my mother-in-law is with us, and the day ahead promises to be one full of laughter and great family moments.

It’s been on my mind for the last few weeks that this would be the first Mother’s Day for my mom to ever spend without her mother. I know there is absolutely nothing and no one that can replace Mama; nor would we dare to try. Mama had a personality that was larger than life and this was one day where we would especially miss her presence.

But as I worked in the kitchen last night I was running a mental list of every one that would be at my parents’ the next day for lunch. It wasn’t until later, when I was in bed, that it hit me.

Out of the twelve people who would gather around the table, the only ones still blessed to have their mom are me, Mike, our boys, and my brother. My heart ached for everyone else…for my sister-in-law and her sister, who lost their mom way too young. For my mom, facing the first Mother’s Day as the true matriarch of our family.

The day was a blessed one, full and loud and happy. Little girl giggles, warm hugs, new baby cuddles, animated conversation, and late afternoon mugs of coffee…

And even though we were missing the heartbeats of some very loved mothers, one thing was was felt by all.

The mothering heart.

It is the heart that we share as a family.

And it will always go on.

Tags: Family, grief, Mother's Day