February 20, 2008 @ 9:36 am | Filed under: Mary & Martha Project

I finished my personal devotional study on Mary and Martha last night.

I know that most of these studies were designed to be a part of a morning devotion time but – for me – more and more often these past few weeks, this time has come at the end of the day.

Where studying in the morning helps to bring focus to the upcoming day, doing it at the end of the day does the same for me. After a day of writing my mind truly needs something to recenter it, to take everything that may have taken place throughout the day and wrap it all up with certain truths.

When I closed the book after reading the last few words, I felt as though I knew these two women intimately. They weren’t so different from me. I could very easily see characteristics of both Mary and Martha in my own life.

I’ve realized these last few weeks that many women perceive Martha to be the less desirable of the two. I know this is because we tend to view her as a whiner who just wasn’t willing to take the time to sit at Jesus’ feet and learn of Him.

But that just isn’t true at all. I’ve never felt that way about the story of Martha so it was a relief to find that this study helped me to solidify something I’ve always felt rather strongly about.

The story of Mary and Martha is a story of balance. It truly is that simple. I would imagine that everyone – male and female – needs that certain balance. But I know that it is especially true for us women.

To have too many days of ‘kitchen duty’ (Martha time) without a healthy dose of ‘living room’ intimacy (Mary time) can leave a woman feeling irritable, frustrated, low on joy, dry, with feelings of emptiness and isolation.

It’s difficult to actually speak, or even type, the words “Too much time in living room intimacy…” We women are kind of wired to believe that there just can’t be such a thing as too much time sitting at Jesus’ feet.

Taken literally, that is probably true. But, in the ‘real world’ (and – that is where we are called to live and work and serve) women encounter just as many adverse symptoms if they aren’t giving of themselves in some way that is productive and of service to others.

Depression, resentment of intrusion, low energy levels, apathetic attitude, frustration over current direction of life, and increased self-indulgence are all signs that we may, in fact, be lacking in the service department.

I awoke with that thought this morning. I know, I’m weird. Women wake up thinking about a sale on shoes, trying to dissect a conversation with a friend from the day before, her need for a manicure…Really important stuff, right?

But…no. It seems that more and more often it’s sometime during the nighttime hours that I receive answers to many of my daytime questions.

Yesterday’s question was why do I feel frustrated and so stagnated today?

I’ve actually wondered this the past several Tuesdays, but it wasn’t until yesterday that I actually felt the need to hunt down the answer. After coming off of Mondays – a day of fasting and really focused prayer – it would make sense to me that I should feel nothing short of rejuvenated, inspired, and ready to write volumes and volumes of equally inspiring words come Tuesday morning.

Yet, by the end of yesterday I struggled with low energy, frustration, and apathy. NOT the qualities I want to be known for, that’s for sure. So I finished the Martha and Mary study, went to bed, and – sometime during the night – I received the answer to my question.

My writing hours – though they are what I consider to be my ‘work’ – are an intense time of living room intimacy with Him. Though I sometimes complain about not being able to tap into the anointing that I desire on some days, the truth is that I spend lots of time in conversation with God. While writing, it’s almost like He’s sitting right next to me. I stay in constant communion with Him.

Coming off of my Mondays and diving right into very full writing weeks, translates into a lot of living room intimacy. Which is a good, good thing, I know. But, particularly weeks like this one, when I have no one to care for except myself, it is very easy to go several days without real interaction with others, and especially without giving of myself to others.

In short, I throw off the delicate balance that we women need to function at our very best.

So today – even though this should have been done yesterday – I am relishing my time with Him. But then I will rise from this spot and will walk out my door and into the world around me.

I will find ways to interact, to give, to serve today. Whether it’s spending a couple hours with my grandparents, meeting someone for lunch, or merely taking a few extra minutes during errand -running to make real eye contact and conversation with the strangers around me – I will let more of my Martha out.

Balance – it’s what makes life work well.

It’s what God has intended for His children from the beginning of time.

But…sometimes it’s not until the still and dark of the night that gentle reminders of this very basic principle suddenly come to light.