When is a commitment just TOO much?

January 22, 2007 @ 10:09 pm | Filed under: It's a Girl Thing

Coachblue"I am a woman above everything else."

I’m borrowing these words from Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, as a way to justify this totally girl-thang post. So for the men in my life who occasionally pop in here to see what’s new or inspirational, well…I hope you’ll allow me to explore these thoughts that have been rolling around in my head today. (Yeah, I know…scary!)

Here’s how it started.

About four or five months ago I found a purse that I’m thinking I. must. have.

For those of you who really know me, you’re aware that I am SO not a purse/shoe/accessory freak. I love nice things and have some nice things. But I am a bargain-hunter-downer and part of the thrill for me is thinking that "I’ve beaten the system", so to speak, when I find a really great deal. I conveniently ignore the fact that the store is not losing money on me as I’d prefer to think, but that my "great deal" only serves as evidence that the retail markup on clothes/shoes/purses/accessories is just astronomical.

Criminal, really.

All that said, I did find this bag that…well, quite honestly, it was all but calling my name. Seriously.

No, really.

This very seldom happens to me. And particularly not in this way. See, it’s not just a purse. It’s a Coach bag.

To be absolutely specific, it’s the Coach Signature Stripe Reversible Tote…a sporty, reversible Coach tote of signature jacquard fabric with a bold denim stripe. Dogleash-clip closure opens to a lined interior with a keyring clip, zip pocket, and matching luggage tag.

Yeah, I’ve looked at it just a few times, haven’t I?

I think I’ve surprised several of my friends. I dragged Cheryl through Macy’s back in November to *look* at it, and then I talked Dawn into going into the Coach store just last month in search of it. My friends have never seen me really want a purse. Not like this.

I’m practical to a fault. Many years of living on a shoestring taught me to save my pennies and think twice before committing to a major purchase. And now, when I could purchase it, I suppose, I’m just having a difficult time wrapping my mind around the impracticality of it.

Ordinarily, I would never think of a purse as a major purchase. I’ve never spent more than $36 on a purse before. Really. And that was the bag I carried all last summer that my friend – Rochelle – affectionately dubbed my "carry-on luggage."

To me, spending much more than that on a purse is huge. I mean, shoes I’ll keep and wear for ages. But purses? In my experience, I guess I’ve been a commitment phobe. I’m fickle with my purses. I tire of them. Or I think I love them and then I’ll turn on them. You know what I mean?

Purchasing a Coach bag would mean finally  commiting to…a purse. I mean, friends, really now. When we spend that much money on a person, that’s means there’s a relationship involved, am I right?  So am I ready to settle down with one purse? And how do I know for sure that I am ready? Is there Coach counseling available for women like me?

I’m thinking that since this attraction to this one bag is not going away, and I have introduced my friends to it, that maybe – just maybe – I. am. ready.

Last night at church, my friend, Holly, suggested I try eBay. I promptly logged on right after getting home and you know what? I found it! The sad thing is that it is relatively new on the scene and, after paying shipping charges, I’d still be basically in the same price range. Which leads me to my next moral challenge. If it really is THE purse for me, shouldn’t I be able to wait until next season when I can get it for a discount? Or is real infatuation worth full price? 

These are my questions for you. Help me decide, please! When is a commitment to a frivolity just too much? When is a whim acceptable? And can something in the triple digits actually qualify as a whim?

I can’t wait to hear the advice you all have for me. Until then, I remain soulfully…unattached to any bag…!

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  1. Liz says:

    Ummm you are still hesitating? buy.it.

  2. Staci says:

    My friend, Melissa, just emailed me saying that I had thought it out long and hard and that this would NOT be an impulse buy and that I should…go for it! So far, that’s two in favor OF.

  3. Carey says:

    It is a pretty bag, but if your are seriously saying triple digits…thats alot. But on the other hand, you do deserve to treat yourself. If its something you can afford, and its not going to set you back on other bills, and you know you are going to use for quite along time, then treat yourself. You do seem to have thought it out quite a bit.

  4. Rachelle says:

    You mean you haven’t bought it yet? BUY IT….you will regret it if you pass it up! You will keep right on thinking about it unless you give in. :) ;) I love Coach bags…and no it’s not a bad thing to treat yourself to one.

  5. Rochelle says:

    Okay… you want some “coach” counseling? Here ya go… BUY. THE. BAG. You can do it!! You can do it! Give me a C, give me an O, give me an A… (you got the idea). Listen, I was with you at the airport when you fell in love with it. I once received a crazy text regarding how bad you wanted this purse when you saw SOMEONE carrying it in class. You have introduced it to Dawn. You have devoted a blog to it. You are obsessed! And it is okay! It is fun! Isn’t it??? Hey, and the only way to ease the obsession is to buy the purse. You can do it, you can do it! GOOOOO Staci!

  6. Staci says:

    Okay, this is my sister-in-law, Robyn’s, response:

    Staci,
    Since I don’t have an account, I can’t post a response, so I am emailing one.
    My purse philosophy…
    NEVER SPEND MORE ON A PURSE THAN YOU WILL CARRY INSIDE IT.

    I tend to agree with Robyn, as you all can tell. But what’s funny about this is that if I were to truly live by that philosophy, you wouldn’t want to see the purses I’d be relegated to carrying. Any cash I start the day out with usually ends up leaving the house with one of my guys!

    And Carey, yes, I’m almost ashamed to admit that the purse is truly in the triple digits. Rachelle (thanks for posting!) and Rochelle, I agree with you too.

    I’m beginning to realize that a lot of this may solely depend on what stage you are at in life. Mike and I are now almost empty-nesters and actually – even though we do have the college expense – we do have money for us that used to go toward a LOT of expenses when the kids were growing up.

  7. Rochelle says:

    Hey Carey, do credit cards count? :)

  8. Rochelle says:

    oops.. that question was for Robyn!

  9. Mom says:

    You’d better talk to your husband about this one. This is your practical MOM speaking. You have a birthday coming up so just maybe he could surprise you with “go get it for your birthday” or anniversary or both combined. This might ease the pain just a little bit of turning loose of triple digit $$$$ for a purse.

  10. denise says:

    oooooohhhhhh It’s beautiful! I can see how you are in love with it. While I would love to say “go get it”, I understand the whole guilt part that would make it a tad less enjoyable to carry around. I like your moms idea…. tell Mike that’s what you want for your bday/anniversary and then you can enjoy it as a gift with a reason!

  11. Carey says:

    I like your moms and Denise’s suggestion…do you think you would feel better about owning it if it was a gift..esp one you wanted?

  12. Staci says:

    I think I’ve decided what I’m going to do. I’m going to take a portion of my upcoming royalty check (end of Feb) and make the purchase. I think I will feel BEST about it if I feel like it’s something I’ve work hard for. I usually use royalty checks for splurges for the family and still will. As far as b-day and anniversary gifts, again – I’m such a simple gal in this area. Just ask my husband, really. I like simplicity and I would totally FREAK if he spent that kind of money on me for a b-day. And what kind of anniversary gift would that make for HIM? We always do a simple long weekend away for that occasion. What do you think? Using book money to make a long, carefully thought-out, much-longed-for purchase?

  13. Liz says:

    Girl – my input is, that I will be buying a copy of your new book when it comes out. So I feel like I am a stockholder. Early. And my vote is in favor of the purse acquisition. No guilt. No shame.

  14. Rochelle says:

    I am sooooo with Liz. Buy. The. Purse. For your stockholder’s!!

  15. denise says:

    OK,since you put it THAT way… I vote GET THE PURSE! and yes, I’ll buy the new book… actually there are 2 that I still need to buy… are ya having a sale sometime???? ;-)

  16. Mike says:

    Girls, ladies, counselors; I wanted that book money for my FAA check ride. Now look what you’ve done! Well, we do have that anniversary thing, and, oh yea, her birthday. Ok.

  17. Tsionah says:

    OK I feel like I NEED to put imput in here… afterall this is a very. important. decision.

    BUY THE PURSE. I myself love shoes, purse, and clothes… and all the more when thet are designer brands… You won’t regret buying. Nope. not when you are already this into. After having it for 20 minutes you will probably forget how much it even cost.

  18. Dawn says:

    Go for it…..it’s not like you buy one every month!

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Psalm 139:14: "I will praise thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thou works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

Life is a marvelous journey, and I hope to show you glimpses right here!

Staci

In no particular order, Staci is a novelist, wife, runner, mother, teacher, reader, student, friend, and diet Coke connoisseur. She loves to learn about all sorts of things and then share bits and pieces of it all here, hence "glimpses."

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