Archive for December, 2006

December 6, 2006 @ 1:07 pm | Filed under: Uncategorized

But the season for what?

I spent seven hours yesterday hanging stockings & wreaths, assembling & decorating the Christmas tree, pulling out holiday linens & tablecloths, and wrapping gifts. From the time I arrived home from my last class until I dropped into bed, exhausted, at eleven o’clock, I was immersed in all things holiday-ish.

But even as I delighted in the way my house was slowly, but surely, donning that special ‘look’ that it bears for thirty short days each calendar year, I couldn’t ignore a tiny, yet persistent, voice somewhere in the depths of my spirit. A voice that begged me to question my motives, to truly investigate why, in the midst of so much evergreen, jingle bells, and tangles of bows, ribbon, and paper…I felt a twinge of annoyance.

Is it okay to admit annoyance during this season? It doesn’t feel good to admit it and yet, once I allowed myself to slow down a bit and examine my thoughts and emotions, it was liberating to voice that, although I truly love this time of year and all the craziness that comes along with it, sometimes I just don’t feel equipped to handle craziness.

I can’t ignore the guilt that I feel just knowing that the real reason for the season is, year after year, continually lost on so many levels. While I’d love to say that I’m not guilty of contributing to this, that would be false. And what I want in this post is truth.

The stores are nuts this time of year, full of shoppers who empty their wallets and max out their credit cards in an effort to meet "the needs" of their long, seemingly endless, shopping lists. Behind each and every store counter stands a bone-weary salesperson who only wants to go home, kick off her shoes, and think about anything other than her deranged customers and the holiday that is causing the derangement.

We (and I mean ME) feel the pressure to pretty up our homes with the festive colors of the season when the reality is that our homes are made festive by the love that blooms there year round. We snatch hard-to-find toys from store shelves that have been picked bone-dry when the reality is that our kids and grandchildren need our love and attention more than they need the 2006 version of store-bought happiness. We spend so much time and effort in creating a picture-perfect moment in time when the reality is that, in mere minutes, our living room floors will be scattered with torn wrapping paper, scattered toys, and we will realize that we can’t even find the camera, let alone capture it all on film as planned.

I have to wonder if on Christmas night, when we are sitting quietly by the softly twinkling lights of the still-lit Christmas tree, and we are thinking back over the day’s activities, will we feel a void? In the midst of the spoils of the day, will we at last be able to slow the pace and consider the real reason for the season?

It’s enough for me to know that I know HIM, and He is the reason for the season, right? But do I offer Him to others all year long through my actions, through my words, and through my love for Him? Is there any reason why I should wait until December 1st before the magnitude of what this season represents and all that it means should register with me?

So, for the next few weeks, as I prepare for the big family dinner and the happy gathering of friends and loved ones, I will do my best to make sure that my words are cheerier than my wrapping paper. Make sure that my actions are more dependable than the batteries I’m stocking up on. Make sure that the love I radiate is more than just the J O Y stocking hangers that line my fireplace mantle.

Will I continue to buy into this madness we affectionately call ‘the holidays’? Sure I will. I will always love the evergreen wreaths, I will always carefully pick out the paper, and I will most likely always spend long hours putting up, setting out, and taking down – just as I did yesterday.

But hopefullyl I will take time out to recognize it’s the relationship with people that matter, not the gifts I buy for them. It’s the time I spend with them and not the amount of money I spend on them that binds us together. And it’s not the mess that’s left on my living room floor five minutes after gift-giving that matters, but it’s the love and joy that’s left in our hearts that will truly be worthy of a picture-perfect moment.

If I can only find the camera, that is…

December 4, 2006 @ 4:35 am | Filed under: Games

I was tagged by Carey and, since it is 4:11 a.m. and I am dreadfully wide awake, I am going to overlook the fact that I don’t normally do these lists and I’ll put myself "out there." So, without further ado, here is my list.

1. The throw pillows on our bed HAVE (I mean, really!) to be in a certain place. It drives me completely bonkers if <ahem> someone (who will remain nameless, but I’m married to him and he loves to push this particular button) thinks it’s fun to rearrange them.

2. My favorite late afternoon snack is a tablespoon of crunchy peanut butter straight from the spoon. No bread or crackers, please, just the PB. (Dawn will SO get this.)

3. If I have a lot on my mind or heart then I can’t sleep. This isn’t particularly weird, I know, but it sure is aggravating right about now when my house is all quiet and the people I love are sleeping soundly…and I can’t!

4. I generally check every door in the house before turning in at night. I may have watched Mike lock the front door and may know for a fact that no one has gone through either of the back doors in days. But yet I have to check anyway…(Good thing my friend and my son are both going to be psychologists, don’t ya think?)

5. I’m not a pet person. AT ALL. And, I promise, I do believe that every one of my friends has a dog. It makes me wonder if there is just something wrong with me, like maybe I’m missing the "must have a dog or life is not complete" gene. Thank goodness I seem to have found the one man in the world who shares my need for a canine-free household. (Having said that, I DO think my friends have very cute dogs and they know I enjoy visiting their pets in very brief snatches, right friends?)

6. I don’t like to mail Christmas cards a few a time. I want to mail them in one great, big, HUGE stack. (This is on my mind because I have them right here next to me in my office, just waiting for tomorrow’s mail.) I love seeing them all piled up, addressed and ready to go, knowing that in just a few days a little piece of our home will make its way to the people we love most in this world.

Ok, so they aren’t the weirdest things, but I it’s so late/early that I’m now contemplating just putting on a pot of coffee and calling it a night.

On second thought, maybe that’s the weirdest thing yet…

December 4, 2006 @ 3:25 am | Filed under: Games

…I was also tagged by a sweet, sweet girl by the name of Tsionah Novak, who goes to church with me. I’ve been meaning to get to this but, as always these days, I’ve been too short on time.

So, Tsionah, here goes!

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1. One book that changed your life:

I realize that everyone is answering The Bible but, for me, the Bible didn’t really change my life since I spent all my growing up years being taught, and reading for myself, God’s Word. So I’m going to branch out and mention the book that actually did change my life in a fairly substantial way. The Greatest Salesman in the World by Og Mandino. A very special friend gave me a copy of this book during a particularly rough period of my life and it altered a part of me forever. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I’ve gone back to this book to glean more wisdom from it. I first read it over a decade ago and still it’s new each time. The combination of the meaning of the book and the love of my friend who gave it to me has rejuvenated me time and again.

2. One book that you’ve read more than once:

Well, okay, obviously The Greatest Salesman in the World. I’m not real big on re-reading books, but I’ve read all of the Little House books multiple times. Oh, and don’t forget If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and Good Night, Moon. These were favorites of the boys when they were toddlers and we read them over…and over…and over…

3. One book you’d want on a desert island:

Here I will make a concession and use the cliche ’cause I think it might really be true. I’d want God’s Word with me if I could only have one book.

4. One book that made you laugh:

I remember laying on the floor of a Best Western motel in Lufkin, TX at a Ladies Conference, well after everyone had crawled into bed (obviously I’d drawn the short straw and was bunking on the floor) and laughing my head off at one of LaJoyce Martin’s books. My roommates kept saying, "Read it! Read it! What’s so funny?" I need to find that book…

5. One book that made you cry:

Waiting for Morning by Karen Kingsbury. This was my introduction to Karen’s books (I was about to attend a writer’s conference where she would be the keynote speaker and I’d never read any of her books) and – oh my! – she had me at hello. Clutching a box of Kleenex, no less!

6. One book that you wish had been written:

The Undeniably Fool-proof Guide to Raising Happy, Healthy Children: How to do it right the first time, every time. (If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride, huh?)

7. One book that you wish had never been written:

As a true bookie, I don’t think I can really answer that. While I may not agree with some of the subject matter, or the writing style, or even the author, I definitely think there’s room in today’s market for a wide range of writing voices. Go, writers!

8. One book you’re currently reading:

America: a Narrative History. Sorry to disappoint and be so boring (this title probably elicits excitement from Nate, Robyn and Dad – the history majors in my family), but I have my history final next Tuesday and I’m six chapters behind in my reading. So I’m eyeball-deep in the Reconstruction Period right now.

Thanks, Tsionah!

December 4, 2006 @ 3:20 am | Filed under: Games

here’s one more I received…feel free to leave comments and tell me about YOUR favorite holiday traditions!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?  Normally I’d choose hot chocolate. But at least once during the holiday season we spend an evening sipping egg nog and watching It’s a Wonderful Life. I’m pretty sure my guys go along with this evening just because they know it makes me happy, but I’m pretty sure that by the night’s end, everyone is having a good time. (There’s almost always cookies involved….)

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?  Santa (a.k.a. Mom/Nana wraps every. single. thing. Stocking stuffers included. It’s a thrill for me. I love the whole process: selecting carefully coordinated paper and ribbon, spending three hours on the floor surrounded by all my supplies, and then seeing the end result placed around the tree. I really, really like it….

Clear lights on both. (That is, when I can cajole my husband into hanging outdoor lights for me!) I do have fond memories of colored lights though. Growing up, we always had blue lights on our house and the family across the street had red ones. By and far, we were the two coolest homes on the block!

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?

4. Do you hang mistletoe?  I do not hang mistletoe. But I do kiss. How horrible would it be to think you had to wait until you caught someone beneath a clump of leaves hanging from a doorway…?

5. When do you put your decorations up?  I’d love to say that I have a set date each year when the stuff gets dragged from the attic, unboxed, and displayed. But the truth is that changes from year to year, depending on our schedules. It’s on the agenda for tonight, but I have to write a 10 page research paper that’s due at 8:00 in the morning, so…we’ll see!

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?  I love my mom’s cornbread dressing and I enjoy my own corn casserole. (Okay, I totally did not see the ‘corn’ theme coming…)

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Being at my grandparents’ home in East Texas, with all six of us cousins bedded down on pallets in the den. I cannot even tell you how many time we got in trouble each year for NOT GOING TO SLEEP! We talked, and laughed, and played pranks on one another – we were just kids catching up on all the months we went without seeing one another.

I don’t think there was ever a Santa in my past. I don’t think there was one in my kids’ past either? Does that mean there is most likely therapy in our future…?

8. Did you learn the truth about Santa? 

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?  Christmas Eve is the Wilder Family get-together so we always gather at my sister-in-law’s house for dinner and gift-giving.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Fairly traditionally. I’m not big on novelty trees. I love simplicity in the season and my decor tends to reflect that, I think.

11. Love it or Dread it Love it. I don’t always relish the work involved and sometimes all the preparations and decorating take time that I don’t feel I can spare. But I love the end result and I love the festive feeling of the season.

12. Do you remember your favorite gift?  A doll named Rosie when I was about eight.

Family and friends, without a doubt. More than anything else, I love the warmth and love that I feel surrounded by during this season.

13. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? 

14. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?   I really like pumpkin pie, but I’d have to say that my favorite dessert now would be any cheesecake made by Robyn. (Hint, hint, Robyn, I’m giving you three weeks notice!)

15. What is your favorite holiday tradition?  Making pumpkin muffins for my guys on Christmas morning.

16. What tops your tree?  A star? I think. You know, I can’t really remember. I think for the past couple of years it may have been a large bow. It sounds corny, doesn’t it? But trust me, it’s pretty and festive.

17. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving?   Giving — HANDS DOWN! I’m not sure that I’ll ever be totally comfortable with receiving gifts – not even Mom’s. It just feels much more natural to me to give. My favorite ‘gift’, I suppose, is watching delighted expressions on faces as they open something I’ve prepared for especially for them.

18. What is your favorite Christmas Song?  Would it make me a terrible person to admit that I’m not a huge fan of traditional Christmas carols. I much prefer Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas is You or the music of big bands or an orchestra…