May 28, 2009 @ 9:43 am | Filed under: Uniquely Me
You must decide for yourself to whom and when you give access to your interior life. For years, you have permitted others to walk in and out of your life according to their needs and desires. Thus you were no longer master in your own house, and you felt increasingly used. So, too, you quickly became tired, irritated, angry and resentful.
Think of a medieval castle surrounded by a moat. The drawbridge is the only access to the interior of the castle. The lord of the castle must have the power to decide when to draw the bridge and when to let it down. Without such power, he can become the victim of enemies, strangers, and wanderers. He will never feel at peace in his own castle.
It is important for you to control your own drawbridge. There must be times when you keep your bridge drawn and have the opportunity to be alone, or with those to whom you feel close. Never allow yourself to become public property where anyone can walk in and out at will. You might think you are being generous to anyone who wants to enter or leave, but you will soon find yourself losing your soul.
When you claim for yourself the power over your drawbridge, you will discover new joy and peace in your heart and find yourself able to share that joy and peace with others.
-Henri Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love
May 26, 2009 @ 10:03 am | Filed under: Soul Food
grace: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification b: a virtue coming from God c: a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace
_____________________________
I can’t get away from it this morning.
I woke up with these words, a space of grace, trailing again and again across my mind. I wanted to write about something entirely different here this morning, but the right words for that post are just too elusive. And so I’m giving in to the words that are here, and I’m exploring them.
I’ve always known these spots existed, these spaces of grace, but I’ve never had reason to put a name or a description to what they were, or what they meant to my life. They are these “pockets of time” in our spiritual journey when we experience moments so filled with His power that we are literally enabled to do what we could not do before.
Things seem to both, accelerate and slow at the same time. Oftentimes our learning, our talents, and our abilities will seem to be fastracked during these periods even while our observations, our reflections, and our times of meditation are slowed and filled with enormous amounts of clarity.
For some, these may be the times when they capture the vision of what they have to offer to the world around them, and they go for it. For others, these moments may be where they find strength to see their way out of temptations, and do. For still others, it is a time of discovering their voice, their passion, their ability to lead, and they step out in faith.
A space of grace is when we find ourselves in that holy place where heaven touches earth and we happen to be standing in the middle of it.
I saw a billboard a few weeks back that simply read, touching heaven, changing lives. That’s what this life is truly about, whether that life that becomes changed is someone else’s or our own.
For me, many of these times have meant moments of ‘lightbulb revelations’ - times when His word suddenly became real to me in ways that I’d either not understood before, or simply not seen before. It is during these times that I soak up, absorb, crave…more, more, more of Him. It is always a time of thankfulness, a time of rejuvenation, a time of a lot less struggle and a lot more energy.
Sometimes these pockets of time last days, sometimes months. To be honest, when the day would eventually come that I would realize that once more I seemed to be deep in the mire and muck that is daily life I would feel a bit of disappointment in myself.
I think - even though until now I’ve not taken the time to analyze these times - I thought that I had somehow brought myself to that spot with God. That my own spirituality had somehow merited me this favored time with Him. So if I’d brought myself to this special place, then it would only stand to reason that it would be ME who took myself away from it, who brought about the end of something so precious, so sacred.
Thinking about that this morning, I feel silly. But I also feel a deep joy bubbling in my soul that just cannot be unseated.
These times - these spaces of grace - are rest stops for our soul. I picture it as though I’m on a trip, a long journey, and I pull over to the side of the road. Not necessarily for a rest, or a drink, or a bite to eat. Maybe I pull over to take out the map, look back over the miles already traveled and plan and dream and anticipate the exciting stops that lie on my horizon.
It’s a time of planning and reflection, a time to dump out the trash and fuel up with all things good. It’s a time to look back on the road behind and see - maybe for the first time in a long while - just how far along on this journey that you are, and it’s a time to look ahead, knowing now from experience that the sights, the scenery, the people might move and change or even dissipate.
But not His great love. Not His direction. Never His grace.
I’m thankful this morning for spaces of grace.
May 20, 2009 @ 10:09 am | Filed under: The Solid Rock, Uniquely Me
What in the world…?
I pulled my cell phone from the charger a few days ago and stared down at it. I had just one bar. How could that be?
For the third time in about as many days I noticed that my phone was steadily losing its charge. Adding stop in to get your phone checked out was pretty much the last thing I wanted to put on my ever growing to-do list.
I was puzzled. The phone was not that old, nor had the battery been giving me any previous problems.
I’m a creature of habit, nothing if not predictable. Every night for the past year that we’ve been living in this house, I have plugged my phone into the same spot to charge overnight. Without fail. If I’m home, then my phone is on the charger.
So my frustration stemmed mainly from knowing that I’d soon have the hassle of making the stop at the phone place, and not so much from anything else. I plunked my phone into my purse and moved to finish my chores before heading out to run errands.
It was sometime in the next half hour or so - as I pushed the vacuum cleaner across the carpet in my bedroom - when it hit me. I snapped the off button on the vacuum and practically ran over to where my charger lay.
I had to get down on my hands and knees to follow its cord around the small table and behind another piece of furniture until…
I gave a gentle tug and the entire cord popped out in front of me.
IT WASN’T PLUGGED INTO THE POWER SOURCE.
As I sat there on the floor, holding the charger and feeling quite stupid at this point, God began to speak to me. In those few minutes of alone time in the big middle of mundane chores and household duties, He layed out an object lesson for me that I don’t think I’ll forget anytime soon.
This is how you become when you go too long without being plugged into my power.
The guilt was immediate because I knew exactly what He meant. The past few weeks had been harried ones. The pace had been frantic, the burdens quite heavy, and the emotions have run rampant.
And yet - in the middle of all this - I guess I felt I had enough “stored up” energy to power me through it all. I prayed, but the words were hurried and my heart wasn’t always all the way in it. I made enough of an effort to spend time with Him that I guess I convinced myself that I was indeed fine. Just like my phone, I was plugged in as far as I could see.
But…
I WASN’T PLUGGED INTO THE POWER SOURCE.
Not the way I should have been. Certainly not the way I am used to. And definitely not the way I needed to be if I want to continue to be the wife, mom, friend, leader, etc… that I know I am called to be.
It’s been several days now and I cannot pass by where my phone lies being charged without thinking back on this lesson. God stopped me on that day and in that way that only He has with me, He slowed me, soothed me, and redirected my thoughts. My intents. My heartbeat.
He, very simply put, energized me.
life lessons, power source, walk with God
April 15, 2009 @ 1:22 pm | Filed under: Motherhood, Pure Sunshine
Have you ever felt alone as a mom? Lost in your chosen field of mothering?
There is an organization that was created to encourage, educate and equip women in the profession of motherhood. Hearts at Home helps thousands of moms love their lives through their many resources including conferences, website, and books.
Recently I partnered up with this organization as a blogger. Over time I hope to share with you the many resources this ministry has to offer (old ones and new). To learn more about the Hearts at Home Blogging team go here.
In the meantime I would like to encourage you to explore their website and blog for an immediate dose of mothering encouragement.
April 10, 2009 @ 5:32 am | Filed under: Food and Drink, The Solid Rock
If you have young children and are looking for a fresh way to, both, celebrate Easter and teach the significance of the resurrection, then you have to read this! I wish I would have come across something like this when the boys were young. Joanne has such great ideas, and this is definitely one of them! If you try it, please leave a comment here and let me know how it goes - I’d love a pic too!
Easter Story Cookies
1 cup whole pecans
1 tsp. vinegar
3 eggs whites (room temperature)
pinch of salt
1 cup sugar
a Bible
Preheat the oven to 300 degrees.
Place pecans in a baggie and let your children beat them with a wooden spoon to break them into small pieces.
Explain that after Jesus was arrested, Roman soldiers beat him. Read John 19:1-3.
Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into a mixing bowl.
Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, he was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.
Add egg whites to the vinegar.
Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave his life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11.
Sprinkle a little salt into each child’s hand. Let them taste it, then brush the rest into the bowl.
Salt represents the salty tears shed by Jesus’ followers and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27.
So far, the ingredients aren’t very appetizing. Add 1 cup of sugar.
The sweetest part of the Easter story is that Jesus died because he loves us. He wants to us to know him and belong to him. Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16.
Beat with a mixer on high until mixture turns white and stiff peaks form.
The color white represents the purity of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3.
Fold in the broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto a lined baking sheet.
Each mound represents the rock tomb where Jesus’ body was laid. Read Matthew 27:57-60.
Put the baking sheet into the oven, close the door, and turn the oven OFF. Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.
Jesus’ tomb was sealed. Read Matthew 27:65-66.
Go to bed.
Explain that they may feel sad to leave cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus’ followers were sad when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20-22.
On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow!
On the first Easter, Jesus’ followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read John 20:1-8.
Don’t forget to let me know if you give this a try!!! Enjoy!
April 7, 2009 @ 9:35 pm | Filed under: Family, Wordless Wednesday
April 1, 2009 @ 11:07 am | Filed under: Family, Pure Sunshine, Wordless Wednesday
Andi and her buddy, Austin
March 30, 2009 @ 7:29 am | Filed under: It's a Girl Thing, It's funny!
March 23, 2009 @ 7:35 am | Filed under: Family, Uniquely Me
Do you ever have one of those days when you wish you could purchase some self-discipline in bulk at Sam’s or Costco’s, or maybe at least find it on clearance on one of those great end caps at Target?
I think maybe I’m having one of those days today. Spring Break was great. Just having the time off from classes and a break from studying was balm for my brain! Jordan was home so there was lots of family time, moments of laughter and fun and just good R&R.
But it’s Monday morning and Jordan is back on his college campus, Mike is back at work, and I am facing a brand new to-do list, that I need to give some time to before diving back into my own classes tomorrow. This list is all about the Big Adventure, as Mike has begun calling it. (More on that to come in the days to come.)
A part of me is longing for the familiar comfort of routine and all of its predictability. Another part of me is already right smack in the middle of the adventure. My heart is open to what is coming next, even in the moments when my head is still being it’s usual logical, list-making self. I love the fact that when God sends an invitation for a big adventure, He also delivers the courage and the faith that is often needed to make the most of the opportunity.
Nothing of quality that’s worth having comes easy. Or free.
Last week I spent countless hours cleaning out the closets in our house. Sorting through boxes and files and pictures, I made decision after decision as to what stayed and what went. This morning I’m finding that I’m doing the same thing in my heart, doing some internal inventory. Taking stock of what’s on the shelves of my heart, and in the drawers of my mind and soul. Coming to terms with what’s still good, and what can stand to be tossed.
Hopefully, since I’m a hoarder by nature, I’ll be sensitive to God’s voice and heed his direction to clean out the clutter. I feel challenged this morning to make room for all He has waiting for me.
I have a feeling a healthy dose of self-discipline may be in order. Which brings me back to Target.
Seriously. Wouldn’t it be the coolest if we could pick up a box or bag or CRATE of self-discipline at our local, friendly Target?
March 19, 2009 @ 9:10 am | Filed under: The Writing Life, Uniquely Me
When I started this blog, the intention was to give tiny glimpses into a writer’s mind. Not necessarily a writer’s life. ‘Cause let’s face it. The writing life - most days - isn’t that grand! Instead, it’s a lonely road, one you want to detour from often, just so you can ’see’ folks again. Feel connected to the real world.
That’s on most days.
But then - quite unexepectedly - comes that morning when you wake up, your blood pumping just a bit quicker, your heart fluttering with excitement, nerves calm, fingers itching for the keyboard, your soul full to overflowing.
Fresh annointing.
A renewed one-on-one connection with God. The assurance that you’re on the exact path He has laid for you. The certainty that the stories on your heart - the ones that won’t leave you alone at night, even hours after you’ve logged off the computer - are the ones you’re meant to write.
You, and you alone.
Those mornings, those days - as rare as they sometimes seem - are worth everything.
Worth every hour I spend staring at the blank page, certain I’ll never come up with another intelligent, inspired sentence again. Let alone a whole book of them.
Worth every hour I stay shut inside my office, refusing to free myself from my self-imposed prison until I achieve my daily word count.
Worth every rejection I receive from well-meaning publishers, who love my writing (okay) but “don’t see your stories fitting the direction we plan to go at this point.”
It’s all worth it. And the reason for it seems so simple on those rare mornings.
I’ve found favor with my Maker. I’m doing the very thing He’s asked of me. I’m writing, and I’m writing the stories, the characters, the events He lays on my heart, imbeds in my conscience, and pierces through my soul.
I’m content in obedience.
I think I’ll be forever thankful for this call to write. Thankful for the privilege of having days free to pursue this calling. Thankful that He trusts me - ME - to tell stories that, in faith, will one day minister to specific needs in the lives of people I’ve never met.
I love being a writer.
Today.
